


Irregular Heartbeat

by PrimordialAngels



Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Protectiveness, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-01-23 10:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21318340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimordialAngels/pseuds/PrimordialAngels
Summary: A chance encounter at a convience store leads Shin down a rabbit hole that causes the human half of his heart to beat again, much to his chagrin. Who knew a craving for Twinkies would ultimately lead to his doom?
Relationships: Shin/Dokuga
Comments: 30
Kudos: 106





	1. Hole's Corner

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for checking out this pretty far-out little story I've cooked up! 
> 
> I really came up with this ship at first simply because I think it's fun to pair your favorite characters together, but after I went back and looked at all of Shin and Dokuga's interactions in canon I decided it's not as far fetched as I once thought!
> 
> Because of that I decided to try and explore a story in which they are able to interact more! I hope you enjoy!

“Fucking cowards! Hiding in The Hole is such a wuss ass thing to do-!”

Shin huffs in agreement with his partner, “They weren't even worth our time.”

Noi stomps as she walks along the dusty road, sending up plumes of ash colored dirt with her shoes, “I know, right!? Ugh! So weak.”

Normally they would go directly back home after a job was complete, but today the older cleaner had an itch he simply couldn't resist scratching. The part of town they wound up cleaning up in was near the area he used to go to school. He remembered that after school he used to always visit a specific gas station a couple streets away to buy sweets before going home.

They're heading that way now, Shin very curious to see if the place is even in business still, as well as craving childhood junk food that isn’t available back in the Magic-User world.

“These snacks better be worth it, Senpai. I’m pretty convinced all Hole food is trash.”

“You’re probably right, It’s just because it’s nostalgic that I like it, I'm sure.”

Turning the corner, the two finally find the little grungy building they had been searching for. Shin notices it somehow hasn’t gotten any better or worse looking than the last time he saw it, and wonders how it’s possible something can stay in the same exact state of shittyness for 20 some-odd years.

As they near the building, he takes his mask off, and quickly elbows Noi in the side, prompting her to do the same.

Ducking their heads down so they’re able to fit through the doors, they enter the store. Bells hanging from the handle of the door clang together, signaling to the clerk a customer has arrived.

Tired honeycomb eyes glance up from their spot at the counter, meeting Shin’s for a brief second before returning back to the shelf of cigarettes they had been focussed on previously.

“Welcome, feel free to look around.”

“Ah-”

Shin doesn’t remember a name for the face, but he definitely recognizes the high ranking Cross-Eye member, as they had fought a couple times before. The guy is a skilled fighter, and on top of that he somehow managed to survive all the crazy shit that went down a few months ago. He certainly has earned Shin’s respect, despite all the trouble the rest of his gang has caused him and the family over the years.

“...Thanks.”

Noi looks at the cashier’s back, and then at Shin’s surprised expression. She leans in to his ear and whispers, “_What’s up Senpai, you know that guy or somethin'?_”

The older cleaner mumbles an awkward, “um, yeah” before turning his attention to the rows of colorful snacks.

Walking around the aisles, the blonde carefully balances finding what he’s looking for with observation over the tops of the shelves. The Cross-Eye is currently restocking lottery tickets, and Shin can't help but wonder about what the kid is doing here.

The albino woman joins her mentor in his package perusing, and grimaces at all the ugly anthropomorphic characters of whatever food item they're tring to sell printed on the front of them.

“Fuck yes, they actually have them.”

Shin grins down at the little squishy cake trapped in plastic in his hand, and Noi asks him what it is.

“They’re called Twinkies and they are death incarnate. I loved them as a fat little kid.”

Noi laughs, having fun imaging a tiny chubby version of her best friend and grabs a package for herself.

“I don’t trust ‘em, but I’ll try ‘em just for you, Shin.”

“Shucks, you’re makin’ me blush.”

She grins at his sarcasm and then starts to walk towards the counter. Shin notices her leaving and quickly grabs her arm to keep her in place.

“What’s up?”

The cleaner casually flips the snack package he’s holding over in his hand, bringing her attention down to it. Pretending to read the label on the confectionary, he leans his head closer to Noi’s and whispers lowly, _“The guy at the counter is someone we both know.”_

Noi furrows her brows, and quickly looks up over the aisle they are standing in and in the direction of the check out counter. Shin elbows her harder this time, “Ow, _ hey!_”

_“I’m serious. That guy is one of the last remaining Cross-Eye officers.”_

“What!?”

Shin squints at her, _“Shh-! I don’t think he recognizes us with our masks off. Just act naturally.”_

His partner glares right back at him, _“Why? We should just kill the punk now and save ourselves the trouble later!”_

The blonde is sure the Cross-Eye can hear through Noi’s terrible excuse for a whisper, and begins to get pissed off. He just wanted his shitty junk food after a long day of work, not _more_ work on top of all that. And while fighting somebody strong _is_ fun, he knows what the guy is capable of. He doesn’t want to risk anything.

“_No, and that’s final. Our job’s already done for today._”

Noi huffs loudly at him, “_Is it ‘cause you don’t want to damage this stupid store? Let’s just grab his ass and take him outside then!_”

The annoyed look on her superior’s face tells her there's no arguing his decision. He pushes his glasses back up onto his nose and sighs, “_Listen, why don’t you just wait outside for me to be done. I won’t be long.”_

She pouts, and crosses her arms stubbornly before walking out of the store and muttering to herself, “_Ugh. I didn’t even break a sweat earlier…_”

She slams the door behind her, and the whole store shakes with the force behind it.

The cashier’s eyes are wide now, staring out at the door, and then quickly looking back at Shin for answers. _Maybe he didn't hear anything after all..._

“Sorry about her, we just had, a- uh. Marital spat.”

Shin cringes at his own words, _Ugh, why the fuck is that the lie I came up with._

The Cross-Eye still looks weary, keeping a watchful eye on him now as he skims through the small store for anything else that captures his attention.

Shin quickly gathers as many random snacks as he can carry in his arms and makes his way over to the store’s check out counter. They’re piled up so comically high the clerk can’t see his face.

Shin peaks out from his mountain of chip bags and candy bars, “Gotta cheer my girl up somehow, yanno?”

The Cross-Eye gives a little customer service smile at the terrible joke, and absentmindedly voices his agreement. Shin can tell he doesn’t really relate, but truthfully neither does Shin. Well, at least not in the context he set it in. Half these snacks are definitely going to be used to apologize to Noi with later, regardless of his weird cover-up.

Scanning them takes a while, and in that span of time the cleaner busies himself by looking at his watch, to his tennis shoes speckled with blood, and then to the door. Anywhere except for the tiny powerhouse currently placing his purchases into a paper sack.

_Damn, what a weird fucking situation. Seems like just the other day we were trying to take each other’s heads off, and now he’s bagging my groceries..._

“Say, It’s going to bother me the whole rest of the day if I don’t ask, but... do I know you from somewhere?”

The blonde blinks, startled out of his thoughts, and finally makes eye contact with the Cross-Eye. Those amber eyes are shocking to see, their insect-like appearance should, in theory, be alien and cold to him. Yet, somehow, Shin feels strangely hypnotised by them.

A little too obviously, the cleaner breaks eye-contact with the man at the counter, suddenly worried he’d be recognized if he stares even one second longer.

“No, you must be thinking of someone else.”

“Hm. Alright then, sorry for the strange question.”

The cleaner coughs as he tosses down a wad of cash, “No worries, perhaps I just have a very common face.”

The smaller man huffs a laugh through his nose, “You said it, not me.”

He hands Shin back his change, and slides the two paper bags across the counter over to him, “Well, have a good one. I hope things go well with you and your girlfriend.”

The cleaner grabs his goods and walks towards the door, grateful the ordeal is finally over, “Heh, me too, and thanks.”

Once outside, he looks around for Noi, calling out to her down several empty streets to no avail. He figures she must have gone straight home after their argument, and sighs as he summons his door. At this point, it might take more than just shitty Hole snacks to make it up to her.

~~~~~

When Shin gets home he finds Noi in the training room running on a treadmill. At first she very badly pretends she doesn’t see him, probably still annoyed, but as soon as he walks over with his arms full of treats she leaps off her machine and greets him as if nothing ever happened.

“Wouldn’t you rather have a proper meal?”

She uses the towel wrapped around her neck to wipe away some sweat that formed on her brow while exercising, “You fuckin’ know it!”

“C’mon, it’s my treat.”

They wind up going to a pretty fancy rooftop BBQ restaurant, only accessible via broom or magic carpet. The smell of the smoking meat wafts high into the sky, so it’s a popular joint that many devils visit. Considering it’s open and airy location, it provides them easy access to a quick and delicious meal without the hassle of concealing their wings or other pointy bits.

“So Senpai, why didn't you let me kill him? Sometimes your sentimentality for Hole is really annoying, ya' know?”

“Noi, I really don’t know where you’re getting that idea from... I could care less if some shitty hole building got busted.”

Shin adjusts his glasses with the back of his fingers, careful to not get any stray sauce on them, “What I care about is our safety, first and foremost. That kid is dangerous, and the fact that he survived through that shit with us proves it.”

“How dangerous could he be? We kicked his boss’s ass already so he’s all by himself, I’m sure he’d be easy to take out!"

“That’s sort of my other point as well. He isn’t doing anything, and he’s got no leader to listen to. So why fuck with him? I say leave him be.”

The albino finishes her bite of mutton, “I see. So that’s what you were thinking…”

“He’s strong, but without a leader I don’t feel like he’s a threat any longer. I don’t like picking on the downtrodden if I can help it, you know.”

Noi lowers her gaze to her plate with furrowed eyebrows, “Yes, I’m sorry, Senpai… I got so caught up in seeing someone strong get away that I forgot how things were in reality. Urk, I really fucked up this time...”

It’s the older cleaner’s turn to pause in his eating as he stares at his partner in concern, “What’re you talking about, you haven't done anything wrong.”

She looks up at him, frowning, “Well, I already gave a report of our mission to En, and in it, I… kinda, sorta, mentioned the Cross-Eye dude. And I also... kinda, sorta, mentioned you not letting me kill him...”

Shin face-palms. He really didn't want to get that shithead involved, but now he guesses he has no choice.

“That’s fine… Whatever he decides, we’ll do.”

Noi looks at him and smiles sadly, grabbing her napkin and wiping away the barbeque sauce her mentor got on his forehead when he hit himself, “Sorry, Shin-Senpai. I’ll pay this time, how about it?”

The blonde blushes at the contact, not wanting to be babied in public. He shoos her hand away, “Naw, It’s fine. Let’s just split it and call it even.”

“Deal!”

~~~~~

When they get back to the manor they are immediately called into En’s study. Several workers approach them on their walk up to his room, each one telling them, “En requests your immediate presence” that by the time they get there, they're already annoyed without even having seen him yet.

“What do you _mean_ one of the top ranking Cross-Eye members is still alive!? And working at a convenience store in The Hole? How low can you go?!”

Hes pacing around the well decorated room wrapped up in a tiger print robe and fuzzy slippers, the fireplace crackling in the background. Shin thinks the flame looks exactly like En’s stupid head.

“The fuckin’ guy was just minding his own buisness. I don’t see a problem with him just living in Hole after everything that’s happened. Don’t you think that’s a punishment on its own?”

En scoffs at him, “He could be secretly plotting another take over as we speak, and you just stood there and did nothing. Ridiculous!”

Noi pipes up, trying to sound as neutral to the situation as she can, “Cross-eyes have no magic, right? So how would he even summon a door to get here?”

The red-headed man stops in his frantic walking, having heard plenty, “That’s enough. I will decide what to do with this bastard once and for all! I feel the main threat has been neutralized, but I don’t wish to risk the chance of there being a part two. I want him dead, end of story.”

Shin sighs, defeated. _Paranoid bastard._

“En-san, w-wait…!”

Fujita? When did he get here? Or maybe he’s been here the entire time and Shin just never noticed until now.

“If these are the same Cross-Eyes that I spied on, then I can attest to what Shin-san is saying. They were betrayed by their boss in the end, I think they just wan-”

“Silence, Fujita, the fucker dies and that’s final.”

“Fujita did save your life, En.”

“...What did you say?”

The cleaner straightens up from his spot on the couch, choosing instead to lean with his elbows on his knees, “You should hear Fujita out for once. He risked his life multiple times to bring you back, ya' know.”

Fujita looks from Shin to En nervously, clearly not used to such tension between the two. When the two family member's eyes meet, the blonde gives him a nod, prompting him to say his peace.

“Well, sir, I- I just think that those two, the last remaining officers that is, won’t be a threat to the kingdom any longer. They have no magic and if they really are in Hole, then... they’re likely there for good at this point.”

En’s arms are crossed and he looks conflicted now as well. Shin wonders if any of this is actually getting through that thick mushroom-lined skull of his.

“Hmph. I am indeed indebted to you, Fujita... If this is what you wish in return, I will do as you say.”

The teenager’s expression is one of surprise, and then quickly flashes through what everyone assumes must be ideas concerning what else En could possibly give him instead of saving some random bums, but eventually he seems to make up his mind and nods, “Yes, sir, this is what I want.”

“Alright. However, I do have just one condition…”

Shin smirks from under his mask at Fujita, trying to give him a silent _thanks_.

“Shin must go to The Hole on a stake-out mission and monitor the Cross-Eye’s every move for exactly one week.”

_“WHAT!”_

Shin is standing up now, and Fujita cowers behind the leather sofa. Noi sits up from her reclined position to shout, “No way!”

“In order to know for sure the bastard isn’t planning anything, you will go and keep watch for any suspicious behavior. If you see him plotting my death in any way, even if he so much as tramples a mushroom growing out from the ground, you will report to me immediately and he will be exterminated by the both of you the following day. Got it?”

The blonde growls, not expecting things to go this way, “Why just me, why not Noi as well!? Hell- even Fujita could do it, send him!”

“Hey-!”

En’s gaze is cold and bitter as he locks eyes with his cleaner, “What’s wrong? You seemed so adamant in defending him before. Killing him would be much simpler, you know.”

Shin grinds his teeth together, his pride too big to go back on what he previously decided and argued over. He glowers down at his shoes as he grumbles and admits defeat, “Fucking fine, I’ll do it.”

“But, Senpai-!”

“Good. Shou will help you stay incognito with his magic, as I will inform him of your mission tonight. I want you up and ready to go to Hole tomorrow morning at 6 AM sharp. You are all dismissed.”

The blonde stomps out of the room with his partner calling after him, feeling guilty for involving him. Fujita stumbles a little ways behind her, wanting to apologize for roping him into this as well.

Having just returned from Hole, he didn’t expect to immediately go right the fuck back. He hasn’t even been able to eat the snacks that got him into this mess in the first place yet.

This was going to be a long fucking week.


	2. Invisible Touch

Making En angry is something a family member knows not to invoke, and so begrudgingly Shin wakes up early in the morning in order to get ready and be off on his new mission, as instructed. He goes for a jog at 5 AM, eats breakfast, takes a shower, puts on his suit, and finally heads out to find Shou.

“Hello Shin, are you ready to try your hand at spy work?”

The cleaner sighs, “Not really, but I do as I’m told, so here I am.”

Shou chuckles lightly and grabs his wand from his boot, “Well I’m sure you’ll be exceptional, regardless. There really are no worries since the Cross-Eye boss is dead, and with you being half-human, if it rains you should be alright. I assume you will be staying with Professor Kasukabe for the time?”

“Yeah, I was actually gonna ask you about that. How will I let them know I’m around? Or should I just come back here once I’m done each day?”

The older magician places a hand to his chin, considering their options. “I don’t advise returning, as En is still rather upset with you. We don’t want to make him think you’re slacking off, after all. What about using your mask?”

~~~~~

“That’s what Shou said, anyway. I thought it was pretty stupid, but oh well. It’s better than nothin’.”

Shin adjusts his mask, peeling it up slightly so that he's able to take a sip from his tea cup. The two doctors nod in understanding, one amused and one feeling a cold chill run down his back. All they can currently see of the man in front of them is a hovering rubber heart-head and some floating china. They watch as the liquid goes down their friend’s throat, totally visible despite being inside of a body.

“Intriguing!”

“Gross…”

“What’s ‘at?

Kasukabe giggles and gets up from his spot at the table. He returns shortly with a hand-held mirror and flashes it in front of Shin. The cleaner looks at what he can of himself, and questions what they’re reacting to.

“Here, eat this muffin and watch yourself in the mirror.”

He does what the professor tells him to and grimaces behind his mask, “That _is _gross. Ew.” _Shou’s magic is weird._

“You won’t be able to eat until night time, it seems! This En fellow must be awfully sore with you, my boy.”

The cleaner sighs at the terrible discovery, “Yeah, well fuck him too. It’s a shitty mission, but at least I’m away from him for a while. I feel bad leaving Noi all alone, though.”

Dr. Vaux gets up to grab another cup of coffee as he offers his side of things, “Well, you’re welcome to stay with us, Shin, but I do have a hospital to take care of. Which means- please don’t go around scaring my patients with your weird floating heart of a head.”

Shin smiles then, glad he has friends in The Hole that are able to help him when he needs, “Thanks, and no worries. I’ll be back late most nights, I imagine.”

He gets up to leave, but looks down to see the contents of his second breakfast floating in space.

“Don’t you want to wait for that to digest? I would really love to watch the process as well, if you don’t mind!”

The blonde removes his mask, carrying it in his hand now, “It’ll be gone by the time I get to the convenience store. You can observe later, right now I’ve got to work," He holds up his free hand to wave goodbye, but quickly remembers none of them can see it, “See ya’.”

Walking down the stairs, Shin places his mask on a scrub rack behind the front desk of the entrance to the hospital. Vaux will probably gripe at him for it later, but he doesn’t care. It’s easier access to it when he gets back, as well as lowers the chance of him forgetting and accidentally scaring somebody. With that, he heads out the doors, subsequently scaring that Thirteen guy who happened to be walking by.

~~~~~

Arriving at the worn-down building near the outskirts of town, Shin looks around and sighs. _Not open yet… Just my luck._

He sits on top of a stack of old tires and waits, folding his arms and resting his eyes. As time ticks on, the less aware he is of his own thoughts. He hears a little anxious voice inside of him say over and over, _“I hope I don’t snore...”_ before he drifts off completely.

A clatter of keys and a loud _Ka-chack_ alert him to the presence of another person. He opens his eyes, now fully alert and on guard. _There he is._

Shin is glad the Cross-Eye actually showed up. He was beginning to think maybe it was the guy’s day off or some shit. If Shin was gonna have to spend time sitting around, he might as well be doing something useful during it.

Quickly, he gets up from his makeshift seat and walks over to open the door before pausing in his movement, remembering what Shou told him about being stealthy. _Shit. How the fuck do I get in?_

He drags his hand across his face, massaging his temples. Just as soon as he was about to say fuck it, a magic-user victim with the face of a rat comes walking around the corner and stops to enter the store. _Thank the Devils._

He holds his hand on the glass above the human, and slips in effortlessly after him.

Inside, the little rat guy greets the Cross-Eye perhaps a bit too warmly, as the man at the counter looks ever so slightly vexed by his entrance.

“Good mornin', Dokuga-!”

“Ah, morning.”

Shin half-heartedly listens to their conversation as he looks for a good place to stand so that he’s not in anyone’s way. He decides on just sticking beside the door, closest to the Cross-Ey- er, Dokuga’s counter. _So that’s his name... _

“Say, there’s s’pose ta be a baseball game later tonight if ya'd like to come along? I, uh- I managed ta snag an extra ticket!”

Dokuga looks at his customer awkwardly, “It sounds fun, but once again, I’ll be really busy with my second job. I’m sorry.”

Rat-face shakes his head as well as fans one of his hands and snickers, “No worries, no worries! It’s always worth a shot ta ask!”

Despite not being very emotive, Shin can still tell the kid is uneasy and ready for this guy to get out of his store. He inches the purchased goods closer to the rat-face’s mangled hands, clearly nudging him to get out already.

“Well, I hope you have a good rest of your day, Charles.”

“Actually It- It's Chester. And, ah- I will, thank ya, Dokuga! See ya!”

Neuroticaly scampering away, the magic victim finally leaves. Shin feels himself sigh involuntarily at the same time the man at the counter does. _Annoying._

The rest of the morning buzzes by full of traffic, mostly teenagers and parents buying breakfast on the go, and doesn’t begin to slow down until the lunch period is over. A lot of the people coming in seem like regulars, but thankfully not the obnoxious type like Rat-face was. Shin’s observations so far have been about the Cross-Eye’s popularity with the residents of Hole, as well as his stoic yet polite attitude.

Eventually, the cleaner gets bored. This job is a whole lot of staring at the same scenery for long periods of time, which is not really his thing. When there’s not a new customer to distract him, it’s either the off-white tile floors, the rows of colorful crap, or Dokuga doing whatever task the job demands. _At least he’s easy on the eyes. It’s obvious why he’s got so many fans._

Without much else to observe except for the same repetitive schlock, the cleaner makes many more unimportant notes about the Cross-Eye. Like how seeing him outside of battle, the kid is downright tiny, and Shin wonders just how in the hell he’s able to pack such a punch with that small of a frame.

His clothing is ragged and patchworked together, stitches of colorful fabric sewn haphazardly in spots all around the fluffy tan jacket that Shin remembers seeing him wearing before. Was it still the same one after all this time? He must patch it together with what he can find when it gets damaged. A few little bags of what must be trinkets and money are tied around his arms just like before, as well.

And most obviously- those eyes. Orange and fractaled, always reflecting light in the strangest of ways, like a crystal. Shin thinks the gaudy cross tattoos don't suit such an interesting face.

The most important thing he’s mentally logged about the kid has only happened a couple of times, but it shocks him each time nonetheless. During lulls in business and after all the shelves are restocked, Shin swears Dokuga has made direct eye-contact with him. Each time it happens he jumps, caught totally off guard. It’s a look that makes him think his invisibility spell must have suddenly dispersed or something, so he goes to grab for his hammer out of instinct each time. Just as soon as it happens though, it’s over, and the man at the counter shakes his head or rubs his face. He’s very perceptive, it seems.

The bells on the door chime once again, and Shin looks away from Dokuga who was reading from a magazine to an older woman with wispy grey hair tied back in a messy bun. She smiles and greets the Cross-Eye like all the customers before have done, but this time she walks behind the counter and embraces the smaller man. Dokuga seems comfortable with her touch, and hugs her back.

They part ways, and the woman walks towards the back room, “Thank you for looking after the store, hun. Make sure you write your time down."

“It’s my pleasure, Hana-san.”

He follows her to the little back room, where Shin can’t see him anymore but he assumes he must be doing as he’s told. They both return, and Dokuga walks out from behind the cashier counter. He goes into the isles of food, and from what the cleaner can see, carefully and intensely decides the items he picks out.

He sets his snacks on the counter, but the older woman puts up a hand and stops him.

“It’s on me. You did well today.”

Dokuga’s eyes brighten, and he bows to her, “Thank you very much.”

Making his way towards the door, he waves with his free hand, “Bye-bye.”

The cleaner follows closely behind so that he’s not stuck in the convenience store, and once outside gives a bit of distance between himself and his target. _Finally, something exciting._

The two of them walk for quite a ways, and even with the good amount of space between them, Dokuga glances behind in his direction every so often. Shin takes care not to drag his feet or step on anything that might make a lot of noise, so he chalks up the kid’s paranoia to a sixth sense type of thing.

Slowly, Shin begins to recognize certain buildings and landmarks, realizing just where it is they're going. It's a path he sadly remembers well, and as they reach their destination, he can’t help but slip his hands into his pockets. The Cross-Eye walks through, but Shin stops at the entrance to stare up at the sign hanging above the iron gates.

The Main Hole Cemetery creeps him out now that he’s older, and he hesitates on entering. Just knowing that his parents are buried somewhere around here bothers him; makes him feel as though he might join them there one day. It's a disturbing thought.

He decides for now to watch, even with the now considerable amount of distance as the Cross-Eye officer sets down the food he brought from the convenience store at a small yet particularly well decorated grave site. He kneels down to pray, and then seems to be talking to the stone in front of him. Shin starts to get bored, and so he mindlessly begins walking closer. That is, until the officer perks up in that way he does, bringing his back straight and his head high. He turns his head quickly, and the cleaner swears he looks directly at him.

_Shit-!_

Shin darts behind an expensive looking mausoleum, forgetting that he’s invisible from the sheer intensity of the Cross-Eye’s face.

“Boss…?”

He stands still, willing himself to breathe normally and relax. _There’s no need to worry about getting caught, you’re one of En’s cleaners for Satan’s sake!_

He guesses he panicked because he doesn’t want to sabotage the mission, mostly so he can show En that he’s wrong and being a total paranoid dick about all this. He calms himself down, and daydreams about the face En will make when Shin proves that he was right all along. It makes him feel a lot better.

Despite returning to his calm collected self, his body resists him in his wish to move out from behind the large marble structure. So he accepts the hiding place, despite feeling dumb for hiding while invisible, and decides to just listen. After a moment and a bit of willing his ears to turn into radar dishes, he hears what sounds like... sniffling? _Is he... Crying?_

“I can’t help it, even despite everything, I still…”

A stuttered sob can be heard, followed by a quiet and defeated, “_I’m the fucking worst._”

Shin’s heart suddenly knocks on his chest with a _ba-dump_ and he reaches a hand up to grab at his shirt in shock. _"Ba-dump?" What the fuck is this?_

Is he… feeling bad for a Cross-Eye...?

Without a doubt, being in Hole is _seriously_ bad for his mental health.

Shin finally sticks his head out from behind the mausoleum, and watches as Dokuga wipes away his tears. He mutters a good-bye as he stands up from his sitting position, and dusts himself off before walking back the way he came.

Watching him go, the cleaner decides to call it quits early for the day, worried about why his heart was acting so strangely. He sticks around a little while longer, making sure Dokuga is completely gone before approaching the grave site, wanting to be thorough in his mission.

What he finds there makes his heart throb in that strange way again, flowers and food of all sorts as well as a plush toy of a pig are laid out beneath the miniscule tomb. Four names are engraved on the little slate of rock, and Shin quickly understands why there are so many gifts. The grave is most likely for the other Cross-Eye elites he remembered fighting before. _They must not have made it through the final battle._

Normally, he would scoff and think something about them being weak, but in the moment he didn’t really feel much of anything. They were dead, what good would it do to make fun of them now? He stands there in the middle of the graveyard just watching the sun set lower and lower in the sky before making his way towards the hospital.

~~~~~

“Hunger finally break your concentration there, Shin?”

Despite his stomach audibly agreeing, he denies the doctor’s accusation, “No, more like my heart.”

Haze perks up at this, “Oh?”

“It was a long day, and I think maybe my brain was just confused and tired because of the creepy place I was, but…”

Shin walks into the little kitchen, opening cupboards and freezer doors as he looks for food while talking, “After he was done with work, I followed him out to the Main Hole Cemetery, you know the one in the middle of town? Well, the kid has some special ability to detect where I’m at, ‘cuz I swear to the devil he looked me right in the eyes.”

Finally deciding on an apple, he flips his mask over his nose and takes a big bite of it. He continues his story through chewing, and Haze smiles awkwardly up at him, “Anyway, I forgot I was invisible for a minute because of it and hid. So I stand there, just listening to the kid, and I hear him crying. We're in a cemetery, nothing too strange, right? Except… My heart.”

Jonson jumps up from his lying position near the television in the den, “_Shocking_!”

He grabs at his chest, reenacting the scene, “It started to hurt, like physically- hurt! Like some kind of heart attack, except, not like the one's I get during battle. I couldn’t believe it. It happened again when I went up to the grave itself... What the hell is wrong with me, Professor?”

The little doctor laughs at him, “Well, it sounds to me like you-

“_Delivery_-!”

Busting down the swinging doors loudly walks in a familiar reptilian face, along with a delicious smell.

“Hey there, Professor! How’s it go- _WOAH!_”

Kaiman nearly drops the take-out containers he’s carrying when he sees Shin’s mask and the core of an apple awkwardly floating in the middle of the room.

“H-heart dude!? What the hell!?”

Shin rolls his eyes despite nobody being able to see, “You didn’t tell him I’m visiting, Kasukabe?”

The professor is grinning, and ignores both questions, “Hey there, Kaiman. How much do I owe you?”

“_Uh- It’s 34.50- _S-seriously, what the fuck am I looking at!”

The cleaner is annoyed, doubly so due to his stomach eating itself, “It’s a long fuckin’ story, now gimme that-!”

Kaiman squeaks as the floating heart-head approaches him and tears the boxes of food out from his grasp. Haze hands the giant man a wad of cash, and pulls out a chair, prompting him to sit. He does so, holding an inquisitive finger up to the mouth of his gas-mask.

“So, what exactly is going on?”

Shin finds enough of a stopping place in the stuffing of his face to blurt out, “I’m here to monitor some Cross-Eye kid's activity."

Kaiman’s mood visibly shifts as his body stiffens, becoming less friendly and more frigid, “What… do you mean?"

"I ran into him on a mission in The Hole last week, he was working at some convenience store. Told the boss, now I’m here.”

The lizard swallows the lump forming in his throat, "Do you, uh, know this Cross-Eye’s name?”

Shin squints, watching Kaiman's face carefully as he says, "Dokuga."

He flinches, his eyes hidden behind the plastic of his mask, “He’s not… Up to anything, is he?”

"Oh stop it, lizard, I know you two were partners in a past life. You sure you haven't been collaborating on some new uprising with him?"

“No! I don’t know anything, I-”

"Fess up, Kaiman. Tell the truth! What do you know?"

"Alright, alright! I- I gave him some of your partner's smoke earlier this year!"

"_Huh?_"

Jonson once more can be heard from his spot in the living room, “_Shocking!_”

"You know how you guys gave the doc a bunch of healing smoke for the hospital? Well, the doc gave one to me as payment, despite me insisting I deserved a gold bar instead, and after that I- I saw them in the street, and Dokuga, he-"

Kaiman sighs, holding his head in his hands, his elbows propped up on the table, "He looked terrible, he was missing an arm as well as an eye, and so…"

He looks up suddenly, trying to make as much eye contact as he can with someone who’s invisible, "I _swear_ to you that devil is gone, Kai is wiped out completely, I’m sure of it. He's dead, as he rightfully should be!"

Shin nods, listening intently as he munches on the rest of his gyoza.

"But I… I still have his memories. I have all of his skills and knowledge, his past. And that includes _them_. Dokuga, especially…"

"What do you mean, why _him_ specifically?”

Kaiman looks away now, "I- I don’t know- but when I saw him in all that pain, some part of my heart went nuts and so… I gave him the vial of healing smoke."

The cleaner chooses to ignore the fact the lizard is lying about why, for now, and finishes chewing, "Alright, _and?_"

"A-and nothing! That's all I know! I see him around town sometimes, but I don't interact with him if I can help it! He doesn't talk to me either, but I think he knows that I... remember him."

“So what’s the big deal then, why act all weird?”

Kaiman bites his tongue lightly, “I just thought that if he’s being troublesome again, I could be seen as partly responsible since I assisted in healing his wounds…”

Shin still feels as though the lizard is hiding something and presses him further, “So would you say he’s the type that would try ‘n plan another revolution despite the first one flopping?”

“Oh, I… I don’t know… I guess he…”

The cleaner’s voice is low and serious, “_Lizard_. The _truth_.”

The giant man in front of him sighs heavily once again, the topic clearly stressing him out, “I feel like there’s a slight chance he might have that idea, just because I gave him some smoke, but other than that I would say no… He really only ever did things because Kai told him to, and when he was forced to kill, I don’t think he ever enjoyed it. The actions he took were just means to an end.”

Shin huffs through his nose, and resumes eating. Kaiman looks at him in silence for a while, the cleaner making it a point to ignore him and focus on his meal, before standing up from the table.

“He’s a really good kid, deep down. If he isn’t doing anything wrong, please don’t hurt him. Enjoy your gyoza.”

And with that, the lizard is gone. His exit a complete 180 compared to his animated entrance. Shin considers his words carefully as he finishes up his last box of food.

"So... Am I allowed to witness the process of invisible digestion now?"

The cleaner huffs and gets up from his seat to go ahead and grab his futon, eager to sleep things off, "Go nuts."

"Hooray!"

~~~~~

The next day arrives and Shin wakes up later than he usually does, probably due to all the unexpected trauma his heart had been through the previous day. He simply was not used to such strong emotional stirrings, they must have really shocked his system and threw him off balance.

He says that because surely something is wrong with him, as he walks to Dokuga’s workplace and sees a door hovering nearby where a fight is taking place and once again, his heart uncharacteristically skips a beat. He watches from afar as the little Cross-Eye slices open the stomach of a rather lanky magic-user. The shittily made mask of yellow caution tape now unraveling, flying wildly all over the place as Dokuga kicks the guy in the face, blood and teeth splattering the ground.

The man’s door disappears in a cloud of smoke, and Shin takes note of that. If the Cross-Eye wanted to escape back home to the magic world, he could have done so. Before he has time to wonder why he hadn’t, he sees the form of a child inside the store wearing Dokuga’s patchwork jacket, watching with wide scared eyes through the glass.

“_You_\- fuckin’ Cross-Eye _scum!_ Yer a traitor to yer own kind!”

Another powerful blow to the head from one of Dokuga’s legs. It causes one of the magic-user's eye's to pop out of it's socket and he howls in pain, writhing on the ground.

_Is the lizard sure this kid doesn’t take pleasure in killing and torture? All that shit he said seems like a lie..._

The Cross-Eye stands over the magic user, and presses his foot down on his throat, hard.

The caution tape maniac surprisingly still has some fight in him, as he grabs Dokuga’s other leg and pulls at it, tripping him. He falls to the ground, and the magic user climbs on top of him, pulling out a knife from his back pocket. The guy’s guts are hanging out of his stomach now, and Shin sticks his tongue out in disgust as he realizes they are touching Dokuga and covering him in viscera.

Swiftly, the Cross-Eye overpowers the magic user and uses the knife against him to slit his throat. However, the freak’s still hovering over Dokuga, so the gore sprays across his face, just below his eyes.

He shoves the dead body off of him and gets up, huffing and bloody. Shin can’t help but think that even like that, he looks beautiful. His eyes appear hazy, full of rage and hurt, although clearly not from any physical wounds.

The anger quickly subsides, however, and soon he is doing his best to wipe the filth off of his face. He takes his white undershirt off, uses the back of it to clean his face and hands, and tosses it on top of the corpse, the fabric completely ruined now. Shin is even more confused looking at the kid’s bare skin, as he hardly has much in the way of muscle definition. _How the hell is he that strong, then? Skinny bastard._

Dokuga turns to go back to the store, but as soon as he is facing the building the kid comes running out and clings onto him. They blubber and cry all over him, and Shin walks closer to get a better look. Upon inspection he notices bubbles coming out from the kid’s mouth every so often, seemingly something they aren’t in control of. While watching the bubbles drift lazily into the sky, Shin finally understands the situation.

“It’s alright, that guy can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe.”

The kid just sobs and sobs, and Dokuga strokes their hair and rubs their back, trying to reassure them the danger is gone. He picks them up once their tears slow, and takes them inside the store.

Shin realizes his heart is reacting in a strange way again, as he slips in the door and watches Dokuga tend to any wounds they might have gotten from the encounter. He politely asks for his jacket back after that, and hands them a blanket from the back to cover up with instead. It isn’t cold outside, considering it's the tail end of summer, so Shin assumes the Cross-Eye is providing the kid with comfort rather than warmth.

Calling his boss to tell her what happened and that he’s closing the store for the day, Shin’s theories regarding the kid are finally proven correct. They’re a half-human that was about to be trafficked to the magic world for some cheap slave labor shit like soap production when Dokuga noticed the magic user’s strange behavior and followed him outside.

It wasn’t obvious from his tone of voice, it stayed even and steady the entire time he was recounting his side of things, but Shin could tell how upset the Cross-Eye was from the way his hands were shaking. Of course, it could have just been an after-effect of the adrenaline dump, but why would an experienced fighter like Dokuga be so worked up over such an easy fight? It had to go deeper than just that. Of course, the subject matter of child trafficking would bother any right minded person. _That explains why he beat him so badly before finishing him off._

“Thank you, Hana-san, yes. Yes. Take care.”

Hanging up the wall phone, Dokuga turns his attention back to the kid, “Alright, I can take you home now. Would you like something from the store?"

“I can pick an-” A hiccup with the production of a bubble, “Anything?”

Softly smiling, the Cross-Eye nods, “Yeah, whatever you’d like.”

_Guess the lizard wasn't lying afterall..._

~~~~~

With that, the week of spying continued on, and despite things never getting quite as exciting as that particular encounter again, Shin found himself becoming more and more invested in the life of the stray Cross-Eye. Following him around all week became something interesting and almost even fun, rather than the chore he originally saw it as. With each day he learned something new and interesting about Dokuga that surprised him, especially considering the fact En saw the kid as a primary enemy and the kingdom's greatest potential threat at the moment.

The second day was, of course, that he cared deeply about innocents and was very capable of protecting them. Shin watched as he reunited the lost child with their parents, the entire family crying and eventually grabbing Dokuga into a bear hug of tears and bubbles. They insisted he take their money, and he insistently denied their offers, until they asked him if he’d at least like some lunch. He couldn’t turn that one down, it seemed. The cleaner waited outside until he saw the Cross-Eye exit the house after a time, a contented look on his face.

On the third day, Shin learned that Dokuga’s other job is making clothes. He didn’t work at any fancy tailoring place, just from the home he shared with his other Cross-Eye buddy. He seemed to like the work, and the people who hired him liked the results as well. _This explains the stitched up jacket he always has on,_ thought the cleaner. Shin had a lot of free time that day, which was good considering he finally made his way inside the Cross-Eye’s dwellings. He left Dokuga to his stitching and as quietly as he could, explored the small country house for a while, looking for any clues or evidence to support the supposed Cross-Eye resurgence plans En was convinced he had. He found no such thing hidden away, just patterns for clothes and stuffed animals, as well as plenty of mismatched buttons and needles. Not really much of anything. He wondered if Dokuga was a minimalist or if they were still just poor as dirt.

The fourth day was busy with work, but he learned that Dokuga doesn’t like to kill the little pests that find their way indoors. Not things like rodents, but even tinier more insignificant things like moths and spiders. Shin never really thinks twice about swatting at bugs, but it seemed as though the kid cared a surprising amount about their miniscule lives. His eyes are fractaled like an insect’s, perhaps that gives him some connection to them? Shin didn’t really understand, he’s never seen any other person act that way. Because of that, however, it intrigued him even more. Did he learn that behavior, or was it his own belief that drove him to it? He found himself wishing he knew the answer after the 6th insect scooped up by skinny fingers and placed outside.

However, Shin is rather relieved to see that Dokuga likes other animals as well, not wanting to think of him as some weird creepy bug-only lover like the Professor was. Dogs being walked, as well as stray neighborhood cats would come up to him asking to be pet. Each time it happened, the Cross-Eye would genuinely smile. If he likes dogs and they like him too, he's alright in Shin’s book.

The fifth day was a day off, but even that didn’t pass by without the Cross-Eye working on something. He did the laundry, washing and hanging the clothes up to dry on the line outside. Growing up in Hole, Shin always had lived in an apartment, so he only knew how to use a machine dryer. It was somehow relaxing to watch someone hang laundry, and the way the fabric gently swayed in the summer breeze mesmerized him. After the clothes were tended to, Dokuga turned his attention to the garden, weeding and watering the plants that Shin couldn’t even begin to guess the names of. He never was privileged growing up, but he was always more of a city boy than a country one. It seemed nice. This was one of Shin’s favorite days, feeling as though he were on some sort of mundane, yet relaxing, vacation.

The sixth day however, was a whirlwind. An excited anxiousness followed Dokuga like a cloud the entire work day, his orange eyes continously watching the clock. Shin couldn’t understand what had gotten him so wound up, left with his own thoughts to wonder and theorize. When he finally got off work, the kid shot off, actually _running_ to his destination. Not wanting to blow his cover, Shin had to follow behind at a slower pace, as running would definitely be too much noise. When he arrived at the area he was pretty certain Dokuga had gone, he sighed in exasperation. It was definitly not what he had been thinking it would be. _Just like my old man used to…_ At the supermarket downtown, there was a big weekly discount food sale.

~~~~~

The last day arrives quicker than he expects, most likely due to the surprising amount of enjoyment he got out of the past couple days. In the magic world, his workflow has slowed to a crawl, considering how many magic-users the Cross-Eyes killed months ago. It's only logical he'd be happier doing something here rather than nothing there.

Speaking of the massacre, thinking about somebody as gentle as Dokuga killing hundreds of people really doesn't compute to the cleaner anymore. Not with the week he had just spent quietly learning about the kid and all his quirks.

Shin observes others all the time, stealth mission or otherwise, and no one has ever managed to genuinely intrigue him as much as Dokuga has in the past week. Noi is a close contender, but her weirdness can be explained away easily considering her devilish upbringing. He didn't know anything about the Cross-Eye before this, and he finds himself wishing he could know the answers to the questions he had formed about him.

With those sleepy thoughts, he gets out of bed, rolling up his futon for the final time and putting it back in the closet it belongs to. Making sure it's securely stuffed inside, he closes the door, absentmindly looking to the window nearby only to realize that it’s raining.

He’s surprised, and wonders if all that exposure to the sludge before has made him immune to the headaches he used to get or something, or if maybe the curse surrounding the precipitation had been cured. As he gets ready, eating a big breakfast and drinking the coffee Vaux made, he finds himself lost in thought, _If the curse is still in effect, does the rain still affect him despite not being able to use magic...?_

Upon arriving at the convenience store, he quickly realizes that yes, the curse is still present and yes, it does affect him. Twice as badly as Shin, just like any other full blooded magic-user. The kid's breathing is slowed, and he has beads of sweat dripping off his forehead from trying to keep it together despite the pain he clearly is in. He smiles and talks to customers like nothing is wrong, but when they leave he lays his head down on the counter.

_You idiot… Take care of yourself._

Shin takes it upon himself to help the poor kid in what little ways he’s able to. Mostly, he just stands outside, blocking customers from coming in so that they get freaked out and run off. His plan works pretty well, with only a few persistent pests making it through, with one such blemish unfortunately being that rat-faced dude. His shift is not long that day, and Shin finds himself surprisingly relieved at that fact. He watches the Cross-Eye begin his treck home, umbrella in hand, and hopes his attempts at conserving the kid’s energy have been enough to help.

He manages quite a ways, before stumbling and collapsing in the rain-soaked street.

Shin's heart lurches, his instincts taking off before his logical mind. He bends down to gather Dokuga in his arms before pausing, his hands mere inches away. _I’ve got to make sure he’s out, I don’t want to scare him and cause him even more stress…_

He leans down, listening to his breathing. It’s ragged and shallow, seemingly all his energy spent just on that simple task. His eyes are closed, but Shin doesn't want to take any chances. He’s at a loss of what else to check for, so simply, he decides to poke him. Just in the shoulder, gently at first, and then a bit harder. Eventually, he decides to shake him as well. No response…

Shin grabs the umbrella that flew off, closes it, and bends down to pick the Cross-Eye up, tossing him over his shoulder. He realizes how strange this will look to passersbys, but decides he doesn't really give a shit since it's his last day, and with that he heads off towards the hospital.

Upon arrival, the doctors recognize the floating body as one they've treated before, back when the En family was staying with them. Kasukabe jokingly asks if he’s finally brought him a living test subject and Vaux hisses disgustedly at the sight of a magic-user. Shin snaps at them, “_Shut up!_ Just take him in and give him a warm place to dry!”

They both gulp at him, and look away. Vaux scoffs, and walks down a ward where his actual patients are staying, grumbling under his breath, “_Ain’t helpin’ no magic-user._”

“Here, my boy, let’s get them dry.”

They walk up the stairs of the hospital, and Haze motions for him to come into the bathroom. Shin quickly realizes the professor wants him to strip Dokuga down so he can give him a bath, and he stubbornly refuses.

“Shin, come now, you brought this patient in, you should take some responsibility in taking care of them.”

“You’re right, you’re absolutely right, but I…”

Haze looks up at him, wondering what type of facial expression the cleaner is making at the moment, and decides to take a guess at what's going on.

“This is the Cross-Eye person you’ve been following all week, isn't it?”

Shin nods, and then remembers he doesn't have his mask on so his movement can't be seen, “Yes, this is Dokuga.”

He wipes the messy wet bangs out of the kid’s face, revealing the black crosses tattooed across his eyelids, “He’ll be alright, it’s just the rain, but with his wet clothes he’ll surely get sick. Please, Professor.”

Staring down at the pained face, the doctor smiles sadly for his young friend, “Alright, I’ll take care of him, but I don’t want you to go back home just yet. Can you make some tea while I get him cleaned up?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

~~~~~

After Dokuga is all taken care of, wet clothes in the dryer, and redressed appropriately in a hospital gown, he's tucked into the very same futon Shin had slept in for the entire week. Somehow, that knowledge makes the cleaner blush, and he feels as though he might really be going crazy.

“Professor, somethin’s seriously not right with me recently…”

“I’ve noticed.”

Shin gulps, even the doctor can tell? He hopes there's a cure, that he’s not too far gone at this point. Whatever it is had haunted him like a fog all this week, but he feels as though it’s finally come to a head on the final day.

“Should I have a physical done, what do you think? I feel like i'm not my usual self... Could it be a side-effect of The Hole?”

The professor finishes sipping his tea and answers matter of factly, “Shin, my boy, I might not be able to see you, but your actions and words over this past week have confirmed it for me. I’m afraid that you…”

Shin brings his mask covered face closer towards Kasukabe, “Yes?”

“And this is _very_ serious, I’m afraid there is no simple cure or trick I can give you to fix this ailment, but you seem to be...

“_Yes?_”

“In love.”

The cleaner straightens back up. Silent for a full minute, as he analyzes the entire week and all of his actions and thoughts, trying to find why the professor would think such a thing.

_No…_

“There’s no fucking way that’s true”

“Shin, I know it’s hard to admit, but-”

The cleaner stands up, and begins to pace around the small kitchen, “In… _Love!?_ I’ve never felt that way about anyone, so wh-why would I start now!”

Kasukabe frowns, thinking to himself that Shin is taking the diagnosis worse than he originally thought.

“Think about it, my boy, why else have you had such a, as you put it, “_fun_” time this week when you originally came here pissed off? This is the most I've seen you enjoy yourself since I met you!"

"The only other times I've hung out with you my arms were shredded and the magic world was flooded! Compared to those times, this is-"

"Have you ever been excited to find out what brand of chips a person would buy before now?”

“No, but- that was just because that brand is nostalgic!"

“Alright, then what about just now? You didn’t want to take his clothes off of him, why not?”

“_Th-that’s!_" He feels his face flush with heat, "Who would want to do that to someone they were close to if they could help it!? Not everyone is cool with nudity, ya' know!”

A soft groan is heard from the den, and Shin’s heart thuds in his chest. _Fuck!_

He summons his door quickly, and takes a step inside of it.

Haze flashes his wedding band up at the absconding magic-user, "Shin! Think carefully about what I’ve said! Love doesn’t have to be scary! Love is tender and can be fun, take it from an old man like me!”

“I’m not in love, asshole! Just-! Take care of him! _OkThanksbye-_”

And with that, in a puff of smoke, he was gone.

~~~~~

Back in the magic world, he goes for a run around the perimeter of the mansion. He realizes he’s still invisible with just his mask floating around, but decides he doesn't give a fuck. Quite a few terrified low ranking family members jump out of his pathway hollering obscenities and calling for En.

Eventually, after some much needed exercise, his thoughts settle themselves gently in place like silt to the bottom of a once raging river. He stops at a vending machine off the beaten path, and takes a seat on a bench in some random park he hadn’t realized he ran off to.

Popping the straw into his juice box, he allows himself to admit he’s always found Dokuga interesting, their first fight together solidifying the other’s presence in his mind. When they fought, he felt as though their strengths were evenly matched, something he rarely felt with anyone. After that encounter, he could never truly agree with the hatred some of his family members felt for the tiny Cross-Eye. He remembers how he was the only one defending him from being tortured the second time they met.

_“It’d be a waste of time. A guy like that wouldn’t break, even if we killed him.”_

He never let the thought develop past a quiet respect for the kid, knowing they were destined to be enemies and nothing more. However, with the week he just spent observing him, he feels as though that line has somehow been crossed. If he was like Noi, he would simply point at him and exclaim, "I like you- lets be friends!"

Ahh. Thinking that just now was really totally too embarrassing. He feels his face heat up, and hurriedly sucks up the rest of the juice boxe’s contents. _Love is just too strong of a word, there's no way that's what this is. I'm just curious about him, is all._

Maybe if he visits a couple more times, he’ll eventually discover that secret evil plan Dokuga surely is plotting. It couldn’t hurt to check up on him every now and again, right? Purely for reconnaissance purposes, of course. Although, picking up another pack of Twinkies couldn't hurt either...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is coherent omg! I've never written something so long before! It is really fun being able to write these characters, the Dorohedoro universe is one with a lot of freedom so ideas come very naturally to me. :^) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think! Thank you! <3


	3. The Underground Ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo-! Chapter 3!! ^_^ I think I'll try 'n draw lil scenes on occasion as seen in this chapter when I've got the time for it, hehe. I added one to chapter 2 as well, if you missed it! As always, let me know your thoughts and thank you for reading!! <3

Living in The Hole so far has been surprisingly idyllic to the young Cross-Eye. He's never liked being thought of as a human, but over the past couple of months he's grown to accept it for what it is. They get paid better than a useless sorcerer over in the magic world, at the very least.

Truthfully, the only time he can remember being terribly uncomfortable was a month ago when he was convinced a vengeful spectre was haunting him. He considered it vengeful not by any actions it took, but simply because he's killed too many people for it not to be one of the angry ones. It only lasted a week, but whenever he remembers that feeling of being watched, a cold chill runs down his spine.

Recently though, something new has caught his attention and really stuck out to him in his daily life.

It isn't anything troubling like a ghost though, just something extremely puzzling. For the past month or so, that tuxedo wearing guy who bought like a hundred things has returned, visiting a couple days a week to buy snacks. Now, a regular customer isn’t really all that strange. What really stands out to Dokuga about him is that the guy feels familiar somehow. It's been making him a bit anxious that he can't recall why, espeically considering the things he's observed about the man.

The most glaring issue is that the guy is definitly a magic-user. He’s noticed many times that the man has scars encircling every one of his fingers, indicating some sort of magic-vein surgery being performed. Dokuga occasionally deals with outcasted magic-users here in The Hole, so it’s not like it's _that_ unusual for someone with those types of scars to show up at the store. What's interesting is that suit-guy certainly doesn’t seem to be down on his luck at all, in fact he seems to be pretty well off. He could have some sort of useful magic, or perhaps he’s actually not very good at it and lives in The Hole working in some shady underground business.

Dokuga thinks, or rather hopes, it’s the latter. Otherwise he has to ask why an affluent magic-user would visit such a small shop in the outskirts of The Hole so often. Sometimes he even buys things Dokuga knows you can purchase in the magic world!

One of his theories has been that the guy is possibly looking for revenge against the Cross-Eye gang, starting with the guys closest to the boss. At first, he naturally assumed this was why such a person started visiting, but after a month of weekly visits from the guy in the suit laughing and joking and smiling warmly at him like they’re old friends he really can’t see it anymore.

That’s why another hypothesis Dokuga has come up with is that maybe they knew each other at some point, and he just forgot about the guy while he was concussed after the final fight. This makes sense to him, as ever since being infected by En’s spores, his memory has gotten worse. He’s always been a bit of an air-head when it comes to names and numbers, but now bigger things have gone from his mind, like people and events. Some days it’s even hard to remember what he ate for breakfast, and words have become even harder to vocalize. He knows it’s called a shovel, but occasionally it becomes “dirt digging thing”. Tetsujo has been very patient with him and his new colloquialisms, thank goodness.

Whatever the case, the Cross-Eye knows not to be off guard with a guy like him, as the possibility for danger is just too high. He doesn’t doubt he’d be able to handle it if the guy suddenly snaps, as handling threats is the reason he’s got such a stable job working at Hole’s Corner, he’d just rather avoid a fight when he's able to.

In fact, just last week with help from Hana-san, Dokuga was been able to confim something about the tuxedo dude that has been bothering him for quite a while...

It was the weekend, the time the man in the suit would most often visit, so Dokuga decides to perform a test. He explained the plan to his boss, and then went into the back room to hide. Everytime he would hear the bells clang together, he would peek out from the crack of the door to see who it was. After a while of this, the tuxedo man finally showed up. He entered the store and looked around in a way that said he was searching for someone, and then with a disgruntled look on his face turned around and left without even buying anything! Dokuga was shocked. When he exited the storage closet, Hana-san was smiling playfully at him.

“Oh, to be young again…” She had said.

So the suit guy definitely has been visiting the store just to see Dokuga, as he thought. For what reason though, the Cross-Eye can only worriedly guess. All he can really do at the moment is keep on his toes around such an unusual character.

_Clang! - Clang! - Clang! -_

The sound of the bells tied to the front door quickly bring Dokuga back from the mental excursion he had just gone on while mopping the floor.

“Welcome.”

“Welluh, he-hey there, Dokuga!”

The Cross-Eye quickly identifies the rat-faced man in his head as _Charlie… No, no, it’s Chester, Chester is his name. Don’t get it wrong again. But what if I wind up being wrong this time, too? Maybe I'll just stick to calling him pal after all…_

“Hello, friend.”

The magic-victim's sharp nailed hands twitch up in an exasperated motion, “Awe, come _onn_\- you ‘member my name, don’tcha? It’s Chester!”

Dokuga nods, his mind not able to come up with a suitable response as it’s too focussed on analyzing the uncharacteristic behavior from the rat-man. Usually Chester was anxious and even a bit shy, not wanting to offend or step on any toes. Something was up.

Very quickly though, the Cross-Eye understands exactly what that something is. Behind the twitchy customer, the bells jingle again as a massive magic-user victim with nothing to call a face except for a big upturned grin full of teeth lumbers in.

“Oh, and uh- His na-names Vinny. Though… “ Chester steps closer to Dokuga and his mop and bucket, “I’m sure a di-dirty rotten magic-user such as yerself won’t be forgettin’ either of us an-any time soon.”

Instinctually, Dokuga gears up for a fight. For humans, he doesn’t like to use knives, if he can help it. Those are best left to magic fighters who’s smoke gives them an unfair advantage. So he grips the wood of his makeshift weapon, brandishing it in a defensive way.

“Oh no, Vin, he’s gon-gonna clean us ta death!”

The big guy’s snake-like tongue slithers out of his pointy mouth, his head blindly shaking side to side, scanning the room. It stops in Dokuga’s direction, and somehow his grin grows even bigger, drool now leaking down his chin. He choppily laughs, a low haunting bass, like it takes him time before he’s able to vocalize another loud _Hah!”_

“I lear- learned from docta Vaux ‘n’ have been waitin’ fer this ever since... A fuckin’ magician, all this time- It makes me si-sick!”

He throws his fists down to his sides, and spits onto the ground, where Dokuga had just cleaned. Now he’s properly annoyed.

“If you don’t leave peacefully, you won’t be leaving alive.”

Smirking, the rat-man looks at him, his eyes disturbingly too human. He throws his hands up in mock submission, and turns his back on the Cross-Eye, walking towards his bodyguard.

“Alright, Vin, he asked fer it!”

Looking up at the giant again, he readies himself for an attack coming from the beast, only to suddenly see Chester whip back around, something in his hands pointed at Dokuga. The Cross-Eye is barely able to react before his vision collapses into black.

~~~~~

Pushing the glass doors open like he had done hundreds of times before, Shin hums to himself. He’s visiting this time for a bottle of green tea, and, well, to check out- er, check _on_ Dokuga as well, of course. He hasn’t been able to monitor him for a few days now, so he's feeling antsy. Surely this trip will be the one where he catches him scribbling down his evil plot in a diary labeled _“TOP SECRET”._

However, with a quick sweep around the small space, the Cross-Eye is disappointingly nowhere to be found. In fact, there’s not _anyone_ to be found.

Suddenly, he hears a dull _thud_ come from the storage room back behind the counter, and notices the door is slightly ajar. Now feeling curious, Shin approaches. He doesn’t want to intrude on anything, so he at least knocks and lets himself be known before he opens the door slowly and says, "Pardon me…"

Inside the tight space he sees a giant with no face and that scrawny little rat from before hovering over an unconscious and unseemly Dokuga.

He blinks down at what he’s seeing, taking everything in. The Cross-Eye’s feet are bound together, and it seems as though no-face just finished tying his arms behind his back as well. His jacket and shirt have been cut open by a knife, most likely by the one rat-face is holding. Beside the rat, laying on the ground, is one of those Holey dolls.

The rodent looks up at Shin with large fearful eyes and squeals, “Oh, shit!”

His heart is thundering in a rage, not just for Dokuga who he has grown quite fond of, but for the memories of his father’s death that such a sight conjures up. The scene is too similar, too familiar, except that this time he’s there and able to fix it. His hand flies to his hammer, unlocking it from it’s chain with lightning speed.

Rat-face scrambles for the doll on the floor, “Vinny-!”

As soon as he turns around to try and use it against Shin, his brains and skull are smashed to bits, splattering against the walls in a violent spray of red.

“Fucking Hole trash! When will you learn your fuckin’ lesson?!”

The giant punches him in the jaw, nearly knocking him out of the tiny room. He spits out a tooth, the taste and smell of iron now totally flooding his senses. He grins, blood staining his teeth.

“Just try me, _freak!_”

~~~~~

The unmistakable sound of bones shattering beneath skin wakes him from unconsciousness. He fights off the haze of the spell put upon him and wills himself to open his eyes.

In front of him is the faceless giant throwing punches and wrestling with… The man in the suit!

Despite their heaviness, Dokuga's eyes register movement from the magic-victim before suit-guy’s do, "Watch out-!”

Reaching into the pocket of his sleeveless hoodie and stabbing upward, the giant plunges a dagger into suit-guy’s stomach. After the initial shock, the man’s lips curl up in an angry snarl as he swings his hammer towards the giant’s head. Using his massive shoulder as a block, no-face grins and twists the knife in his hands, causing the man in the suit to cough up blood. Moving to pull it out and most likely stab him again, suit-guy stops him by grabbing his hands.

With a flick of his long snake-like tongue, the giant tilts his head, confused.

Suddenly the air fills with smoke, and Dokuga gasps as he sees no-face torn to shreds, his body buried in the deadly black smog.

Now he understands why the man in front of him felt so familiar, it just took a fight for him to see it. That type of destructive magic no doubt belonged to none other than En’s Heart.

Pressing himself further into the back of the closet, the Cross-Eye makes sure none of the stray smoke touches him. Despite the guy's easy-going demeanor during regular shop hours, Dokuga can’t help the fear he feels as the cleaner approaches him. His form is nothing but a foreboding silhouette, backlit against the harsh fluorescent light leaking in from the storefront.

His body stiffens, readying itself for whatever pain awaits.

"_Hah…_ Are you alright? Did they hurt you?"

The Cross-Eye freezes. He didn’t get it wrong, did he? There’s no way...

"You- you're Shin, one of En's cleaners, aren't you?”

Shin makes a _tsk_ sound with his mouth, "Yes, but look, we can talk about that later. Are you _hurt?_"

Dokuga gulps. He looks down, and realizes his jacket and shirt are ruined. Among the torn strips of fabric is a neat red gash running down the middle of his chest, dribbling blood. He was so caught up in the situation that he didn't even realize…

The cleaner inches closer to him, seemingly noticing the wound at the same time. He moves to kneel down, but his legs collapse the rest of the way. He clearly just tried to hide the fact that he fell, but Dokuga sees through it.

"You're hurt worse than I am. Go have your girlfriend patch you up or something, I’m fin-"

"She's not my-! _Ugh._ Look, it's not like that with me and her, I was just lying to you so you wouldn't recognize us, or… something like that...”

Taking out the hammer he had stuffed in his pocket, he cuts at the Cross-Eye's leg bindings using the sharp end of the tool. Dokuga shivers, his eyes focussing on the fresh blood staining cold steel.

"When do you get off work?"

The younger man blinks. _Huh?_ "5…"

"Okay, great. Then how about I come back here and explain things over dinner," quickly as though it were an afterthought he adds, "If that's okay, of course. I'll buy."

Dokuga blinks once more. Do those Holey dolls have any lasting side effects? Because he’s certain that he must be hallucinating. Maybe his head hit the ground a little too hard when he passed out, or maybe some leftover mushrooms have finally taken root in his brain or something.

He mulls things over, seriously weighing the pros and cons of such an arrangement, if this is indeed the waking world of course. The cleaner allows him his thoughts, and starts cutting at his arm binding, patiently awaiting a response.

Spending time with an incredibly dangerous man who he’s fought and lost to before, or a free meal…

Even more than that, what he really wants is an explanation for what the hell has been going on. If he’s not here for a clean up job, then why has he been visiting so much?

"Um. Sure."

Shin finishes his work and tosses the rope to the side. He struggles a bit to pull himself to his feet, using the wall to stop himself from toppling over. He looks down at the Cross-Eye rubbing at his wrists, still sitting on the floor, and extends a hand down.

Dokuga looks up, his eyes a bit wider than he means them to be. He stares at the scarred hand hovering above him, wondering if he should really take it. The cleaner looks exhausted, his hair all mussy and his once white shirt now pink from his own blood. He thinks maybe accepting just this once wouldn’t be so terrible.

However, he must have largely underestimated the effect Holey has on the bodies of magic-users, because as he’s pulled to his feet, he stumbles forward and bumps into Shin.

The cleaner takes his other hand off the wall to catch Dokuga just in case he falls, "Woah there, you sure you're alright?"

Alarm bells flash in his head at their proximity, and he quickly shrugs off the larger man. His gaze turns to his shoes as he dusts himself off, “I’m fine.”

Shin makes a face at him, obviously not believing him. He stares at the scraps of clothing hanging off of the small man, as well as the red angry gash glaring back at him. He empties the pockets of his suit jacket real quick, before taking the garment off and placing it around Dokuga’s shoulders.

"Cover up with this. I'll be back soon anyway."

Dokuga gapes up at him, still not registering this as reality. A protective and caring gesture? From a man who has sliced him into ribbons before? Absolutely no fucking way.

Shin walks out of the little room they are in, and the Cross-Eye keeps his distance but follows him out nonetheless, careful to step over the corpses and not track any blood. He knows he's going to have to scrub the gore off the floors here in a bit, and doesn't really feel like mopping the whole store again on top of that. Stopping at the counter however, he clearly sees red sneaker tracks from the cleaner leading into the back of the store. He sighs to himself.

Eventually Shin comes back and drops packages of bandages and antibiotic ointment in front of the Cross-Eye.

"Here, for your wounds."

_Seriously, what the fuck!_

"Um, we have a first-aid kit- I can just use that."

"Then keep ‘em for home." He places some bills on the counter and heads towards the front door. He looks behind him before exiting, meeting the younger man’s eyes and saying cooly, "Take care, Dokuga."

His eyes go wide hearing his name, not expecting one of En’s men to remember it. He wants so badly to be able to say he’s in danger around that guy, but everything about the situation logically points him in a different way. It was all so confusing...

He sighs again, “Devils help me..."

~~~~~

When the cleaner returns, he’s completely healed and cleaned up, new shirt and everything. Dokuga also notices the expensive smell of cologne wafting off him, and wonders if he always wore it and he just never noticed or if it’s something he’s recently started doing.

"You're not wearing my jacket… Where is it?"

_Why does he seem disappointed by that?_

Truthfully, Dokuga half expected the garment to mysteriously disappear after he set it aside, still believing this whole experience to be some sort of fucked up dream. But the jacket was there, right where he left it, and En’s Heart had indeed returned to pick it and him up. _At least the free food will be real too, I guess…_

Dokuga hands Shin his jacket back as a priest bows to him before exiting, finally finished blessing the store. He explains to the cleaner that earlier an employee from the hospital had stopped by to pick up the bodies, as well as his boss coming and bringing him a new shirt, per his request.

"Well, shall we go?"

Dokuga nods, and says goodbye to Hana who had stayed with him. She hugs him, and before releasing gives his shoulder a little squeeze, "Good luck, hun."

The Cross-Eye blushes a bit, knowing how this must look to her. He doesn’t bother correcting her, it’s not something worth arguing, so he just nods silently, thanking her.

They both wave goodbye and step outside. Dokuga feels immediately grateful for the fresh air, sick of the stench of blood that had permeated the building.

"Where would you like to eat? We could visit The Hungry Bug, it's not too far from here."

The Cross-Eye shakes his head a little too violently.

Shin can’t help but smirk knowingly at his reaction, "Okay, well how about seafood? I know a great little underground place on the southside. Er- if they're still open after all these years, I guess..."

Dokuga suddenly recalls something written in the En Family’s files about the cleaner being half-human, but he didn’t realize that meant Shin had actually spent time living in The Hole.

"Sure, I'm not picky."

Shin chuckles, “Says the guy who just turned down some really delicious gyoza."

Dokuga balks at that, but doesn’t argue. He doesn't want to explain himself, so he just lets the cleaner tease him instead. They walk in a surprisingly comfortable silence, Shin in front and Dokuga trailing behind, both quietly enjoying the budding colors of twilight and the shadows stretching across the road.

Eventually they arrive at a place literally underground, to the Cross-Eye’s surprise. Ever since the Central Department Store sank to the bottom of the Lake of Refuse, several smaller marketplaces have flourished, this obviously being one of them. It was a long winding tunnel full of various shops and clubs, lit dimly by store signs and the occasional street lamp hung on the wall, like something one might find in the magic world. Dokuga is honestly impressed.

They walk for a way through the tunnel before Shin stops and says, "Wow, they are still open after all. Sweet."

A neon sign outside of the restaurant simply titled "The Ocean" envelopes them in vibrant blue light. The cleaner opens the door, and gestures for the Cross-Eye to go ahead. Stepping inside, a magic-victim with piercings convering his face and a shark fin sticking out from the top of his head greets them at the door and takes them to their table, a little booth in the very back. Dokuga absentmindedly notes the sound of waves coming from the speakers hanging on the walls.

They pick up their menus and both begin browsing through the lists and pictures. The Cross-Eye feels terribly awkward, wondering what he‘s doing here and why he said yes in the first place. His stomach is tied in knots as he realizes just what kind of situation he’s in, trapped in such a small area together with such a scary person. Though, he supposes that’s where he was earlier as well, and everything turned out alright.

Even still, a part of him is anxiously waiting for the cleaner to say _“syke!”_ and jump at him with that hammer of his. His mind frustratingly at war with itself about the man in front of him. He had protected him, is currently treating him to dinner, but at the same time the memories of the man wearing his mask contradicted everything else. He doesn’t know what to believe, and finds himself struggling to relax.

“Well, this place sure is nostalgic. The first time I came here I had a date with some girl from school. Except, I had no idea it was a date, since she hadn’t really said it explicitly. I was really confused why she got angry at having to split the bill, and when I walked her home afterwards, she yelled at me for not giving her a kiss or a hug, or whatever it was she wanted from me. After that, we weren’t really friends any more, but I kept coming back to The Ocean regardless because their shrimp scampi was so good.”

Dokuga is surprised at such casual conversation, and blinks up at the man, “Is… that what you’re getting, then?”

Shin sort of guffaws at that, “I can afford a lot more than that now, so no. I think salmon sounds good tonight, what about you?”

The Cross-Eye looks over the menu again, his mind swimming thanks to so many choices. Could he really get anything…? This is quite an expensive place, but it's not like Dokuga has never eaten rich before. When the Cross-Eyes were in their prime, Boss treated them regularly to big extravagant feasts, sometimes even eating for free if the owner was scared enough. It felt good, back then. Right now, in such a setting, being together with such an imposing man who, despite his violent tendencies, is currently treating him to a meal feels… strangely similar, and yet completely different all at the same time.

The waiter returns with waters and asks if they’re ready to order. Shin looks to Dokuga, who nods his head, “The, um, shrimp scampi with linguini, please.”

Shin smirks at him and places his order as well. The waiter leaves after jotting everything down, and Dokuga feels awkward being left alone together again.

“I suppose I should finally explain myself while we wait, huh?”

Dokuga nods at him, not sure what to do with his hands now that the menu isn’t there to create a barrier between them. He takes a sip of his water, staring down into the ice floating along the surface, casually thinking about how the liquid is contaminated with lethal poison now.

“So, uh- where should I start… I guess, what would you like to know?”

The Cross-Eye pets at the condensation forming on his glass before looking up and meeting the cleaner’s eyes, “Why have you been targeting me?”

Shin’s eyebrows flash upwards for a second before relaxing again, “Hmph, was I that obvious about it?” He pushes his glasses back up his nose before continuing, “En sent me on a mission to monitor your behavior in The Hole. He’s worried about another Cross-Eye uprising.”

“What, why?”

“That’s what I said too. I told him he’s just being a paranoid dickhead, but he wouldn’t listen and demanded I keep an eye on you.”

Dokuga blinks, “You mean he didn’t want my head on a platter? That’s certainly generous of him…”

He fuzzily remembers kicking the man in the back of the head before taking off with his precious pet and the little skull girl before being mushroomed. _Maybe he doesn’t realize I’m the one who did that…_

“Oh no, he wanted you dead at first, you’re right, sorry. One of our subordinates convinced him to spare you.”

“Huh? A member of your family defended me? Which one?”

He didn’t realize the skull girl had such a big influence…

“His name’s Fujita, he was the one stalking you guys while invisible. Guess your group grew on him after all that time, or something.”

Dokuga’s eyes widen, _He’s the one Tetsujo told me about!_

“Next time you see him, would you tell him thanks for me…?”

“Uh, sure.”

The Cross-Eye tries to remember if he had any other questions besides that. He realizes all his theories about the mysterious man in a suit don't really matter anymore, considering who he turned out to be. Thinking back on it, it seems so obvious. He should have known it was the cleaner, but he had no clue that under that terrifying mask was such a normal guy.

Their server arrives with two large plates and lays them on the table. Everything smells and looks wonderful, and Dokuga realizes how hungry he actually has been. The knots in his stomach have slowly but surely untied themselves now that the mystery is solved, which he’s thankful for. Now he should be able to eat in peace.

He thanks Shin for the food before twisting his food up with his fork and carefully eating it. His pace is slow, meticulous, and calculated compared to the cleaner across the table. Dokuga watches him from the corner of his eye, and it’s like the man hasn’t eaten in days, though he’s sure that’s not actually the case.

“So, did you really not recognize me until today?

Dokuga is in the middle of sucking up the strands of noodles that are cascading out of his mouth, and Shin waits, patiently watching in amused silence as the Cross-Eye struggles with his food. Dokuga looks up at him, noodles still slowly disappearing and suddenly feels embarrassed. He blushes, and covers his mouth with his hand as he chews.

"Pardon me."

Shin smiles at him, “You’re alright.”

“I know it sounds foolish, but I really had no idea. The only times I’ve ever interacted with you have been in fights where you were wearing your mask. Though I, um, always had the feeling I knew you from somewhere… Guess I wasn’t wrong about that after all.”

He plays with his pasta, pushing it around, “Come to think of it, why did you act like you didn’t know me the first time you came into the store?”

Shin adjusts his glasses again, and looks around the restaurant, “I didn’t want to bother you, honestly. My partner was pissed with me because of that, but I dunno, I just…” He makes eye contact with Dokuga, a solemn look on his face, “Why fight? We aren’t really enemies anymore.”

The Cross-Eye pauses. _I guess it’s easier on his end to just go ahead and decide that, isn’t it?_

He breaks his gaze away from the cleaner and stares down at his water, “I guess not.”

Like hell they weren’t enemies… If this guy was thinking about forming some sort of fucked up friendship with him, Dokuga didn’t want to be apart of it. An elite magic-user who lives comfortably at the top of the food chain, friends with a magic-less sorcerer who’s been struggling to survive since he was born? He’d grown up despising people like him, thrown everything away just to try and free the magic world of it’s unfair caste system… No matter how nice he’d been today, Dokuga certainly hadn’t been planning on hanging around him anytime after this.

Shin rouses Dokuga out of his thoughts by asking him if he’s going to finish his pasta. The Cross-Eye hesitates, looking down at his food. The cleaner probably isn’t even aware that such a request is a death sentence, that if Dokuga wanted to kill him, all he had to do was slide the plate across the table.

“Actually, could I get a to-go box?”

If the cleaner wants to see him as a friend, it’s certainly much better than being seen as a target. Dokuga might not like it, but he knows better than to compromise his own safety.

They call their server over and wrap things up, Shin paying for everything just as he promised.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

~~~~~

Shin has never liked lying, finding it easier to tell the truth rather than flounder around looking guilty. However, the week he spent observing Dokuga was something he feels needs to be kept a secret. He wasn’t sure at first why he was avoiding bringing it up at dinner, other than the fact adding "creepy weirdo stalker" to the list of reasons why the Cross-Eye shouldn't trust him sounds like a bad idea, but as they begin their trek back to Dokuga's house he understands. Or maybe it's more like, he finally has accepted his fate.

It wasn’t when he rescued Dokuga, but rather afterwards when he returned to the magic world. Annoyingly anxious thoughts flitted through his mind after he was patched up, “What if I hadn’t shown up?” _That kid is strong, he’d be fine without me, I’m sure of it._ “What is he thinking right now?” _H-huh? How stupid, why should I care about that?_ “Does my hair look alright?” _Wait, what!?_

Truthfully, when he came back to The Hole for dinner, he was nervous. However, as soon as he saw that the Cross-Eye hadn’t indeed run for the hills, he felt a lot better. Talking to him for such an extended amount of time was enjoyable, surprising himself with just how much he was smiling and laughing. _It’s just because I’m alone with him, I’m the same way alone with anyone,_ he told himself.

However, as the moon rises higher in the sky above them, Shin finds it increasingly difficult to deny his emotions. The closer they get to their destination, the more the cleaner wishes the night wouldn't end.

He's not a fool, he knows why... It's because truthfully he wishes he could get closer to the Cross-Eye, learn more about him directly, not just watching from a distance like he has been. Whatever all that might mean, he’s come to care about the kid, that’s for sure.

The silence between them feels prickly compared to earlier, like they're both thinking heavily about the day, lost in their own worlds. He’s sure Dokuga’s mind is in a whirlwind, he knows it's a lot to take in. Afterall, even his own thoughts are jumbled, tangling together with his heartstrings. They eventually make it back where they started, walking only a couple blocks past the convience store before the Cross-Eye abruptly stops in the middle of the road.

Shin turns to face him, secretly a bit nervous.

“This is far enough for tonight, I can manage on my own from here. Thank you for everything.”

He watches the smaller man bow politely, and frowns. He knows Dokuga’s house is quite a ways further north from here. The Cross-Eye makes to walk away, and so the cleaner blurts out the first question that pops into his head, “What if something else happens?”

“Huh?”

“Those guys, they could have friends…”

Dokuga’s brows furrow and Shin cringes at his own words, knowing he’s crossed a line.

“I really appreciate all you’ve done for me today, but I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thanks.”

“That’s not- I didn’t mean it that way." _Fuck, I pissed him off._

“What is it then?”

Shin thinks back to the story he told Dokuga, the one about his “date” at The Ocean. _Shit! I don’t want this to be like that. I just need to be honest…_

He summons his door, trying to show the Cross-Eye he trusts his judgement by leaving, “I know you’re strong, breaking my nose and living afterwords isn’t something most people I've fought can attest to- Just be careful, alright?”

Dokuga blinks up at him, his expression clearly asking “why the hell do you care?”

Shin is embarrassed now, pushing up his glasses to hide his reddening face. He can’t find the strength to face him anymore, so he turns towards his door and opens it. As he steps a foot inside, he suddenly thinks _fuck it._

“It’s because, I’m interested in you.” He turns and sadly smiles at the Cross-Eye before slipping through the portal and returning home.

“...Interested?” Dokuga’s voice trails off as Shin shuts the door, his body sliding down it before he wills it away. He feels majorly lame sitting in the middle of his bedroom, and combs a hand through his hair, noting that his skin is hot to the touch.

“I finally managed to tell him and then I just fuckin’ left. Incredible work, Shin.”

He stated his true feelings sure, but much too vague and stupidly cringey, he felt. He’s sure he’s done nothing but confuse the poor kid even more than before.

_I need a fuckin’ nap…_

~~~~~

“Tetsujo… If a man tells you he’s interested in you, what does that mean, exactly?”

The man in question involuntarily spits out the water he had been drinking, “_What!?_”

Dokuga frowns at the reaction, going to get a rag to help wipe up the liquid splattered on the ground, “Is it bad?”

“Yes, Dokuga, a guy like that is very dangerous. He’s after _something_, alright. Was this at work?”

The Cross-eye sighs listlessly as he hands his teammate the cloth, “It’s a really long story…”

After making tea for the both of them, Dokuga sits with Tetsujo at their little kitchen table and explains the craziest day he’s had in a long time. He could tell the swordsman is equally as shellshocked as himself about it all.

“You’re shitting me! I mean, like, wow!"

Looking out the window into the darkness of the night, the Cross-Eye sighs again. “Honestly, I kind of hope he doesn’t come b-”

“This could be our big break!”

Dokuga looks at his brother who’s now standing up, excited about something he doesn’t understand.

“What do you mean?”

Pacing around the tiled floor of the kitchen, Tetsujo is smiling with this sort of lost look in his eye.

“We could finally bring back Ushi and Saji!”

Dokuga squints at the swordsman, not liking where this is going.

“Don’t you see- If this En family elite really does like you, we could potentially use him to access the castle and steal some of Kikurage’s smoke!”

Dokuga blinks, thinking to himself that he's either gone crazy, or the rest of the world has.

“I know it’s fucked up, but please bare with it, Dokuga! You’d just have to be careful sneaking around, of course. After that, you can break up with him and we can bring them back with no repercussions!”

“Our brothers are dead, Tetsujo. We should let them rest-”

Slamming his hands down onto the wooden table, the swordsman shouts, “_No!_”

Startled, Dokuga’s amber eyes are wide as he looks up at his teammate.

He looks distraught, appearing older than Dokuga's ever seen him in the low lighting. His cheeks are stubbly, and his good eye appears to glisten with the threat of tears.

“I’m sorry… I just-”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand.” He places a hand over one of Tetsujo’s own, his voice gentle. “I miss them too.”

After Dokuga was given that vial of healing smoke and his health returned to him, Tetsujo wanted to do nothing more than scour every corner of Hole looking for their dead friend’s severed heads. “After we find them, we’ll need to find a way back home too.” He had said, over and over again. Truthfully, Dokuga knew they were gone. Ton, Natsuki, and even Ushishimada and Saji. He told Tetsujo many times how he felt, but the swordsman wouldn’t listen. The more time they spent searching, the more time Dokuga had to accept their deaths, while Tetsujo continued to hold onto hope.

Maybe it was a good thing he had, because eventually they did indeed recover the missing heads of their brothers. They both thanked Ushishimada for having such a thick skull, otherwise decomposition would have made it way too difficult to positively identify them. Saji’s hair was tangled together with what was left of Ushi’s beard, locking the head’s together, and Tetsujo had laughed himself to tears about it.

They were buried after that, but unlike Ton and Natsuki, there was still a sliver of a chance their older brothers could be brought back. Dokuga hadn’t thought much about it, doing his best to move on and deal with his guilt his own way, but Tetsujo was clearly another story.

“Can you please just think it over? I can’t force you to do anything, but, please…”

He stands up straight and swipes a forearm across his eyes.

Dokuga is weary about the idea, not that he doesn't think he could accomplish such a feat, but because of the morality of it. He’s done his best to accept his family's deaths, and even with Tetsujo venomously telling him that Kai was the reason they were gone, he still feels deep down that it was his fault. He kept Kai’s secrets, even from them, and his trust in their Boss cost him everything. He’s grateful he still has Tetsujo, but even then the swordsman hasn’t been the same since the end of it all.

_Would doing this help him heal?_

Before Tetsujo can walk away, Dokuga grabs his wrist.

“Tell me... about your plan.”

It’s not a yes, but it’s not a no either. Tetsujo smiles, his expression equal parts broken and hopeful. Dokuga wants to help his brother more than anything, so he listens intently to the swordsman, considering his words very carefully.


	4. Insect Illumination

Shin gives it a couple days. Not an entire week (as that would be cowardly), but enough time to let things settle down.

He’s not really sure what to do after his impulsive confession. Did his vague message get through to the Cross-Eye? If it didn’t, what should he do? If it _did_, what’s next? He didn't even stick around long enough to be rejected...

This state of uncertain limbo has really started to bother him. However, he finds coming up with ideas on how to clear the air even _more_ frustrating.

That’s why eventually when he works up the guts to visit Hole’s Corner again, he winds up acting like nothing ever happened.

“I see your jacket is all patched up... That’s good.”

Dokuga looks at him a bit wearily at first, but doesn’t cringe away completely like Shin had been thinking he would. “Yeah, it is. Thank you again for all you've done for me recently."

Shin shakes his head, “It’s no big deal, really.”

An awkward pause. The cleaner glances around the counter, trying to think of what else he could say to keep the conversation going without making things weird.

“Well, your total today is 2.50.”

The blonde man wilts as he fiddles with his wallet. _Just what am I thinking… We’ve been at each other’s throats for years now. There's no way he'd trust me so suddenly, even after last week._

The Cross-Eye hands him back his little packaged sandwich as well as his change and gives a small bow.

“Until next time, then.”

"Yeah, later."

Making to leave, Shin curses himself. He knows that the longer he waits to confront the tension between them, that it'll be even more awkward to try and bring it up later. That's why when his hand touches the cool metal handle of the front door, he decides to bite the bullet and turns himself back around.

"Actually-"

"Well, wait-"

Both Shin and Dokuga flush awkwardly at their overlapping voices. The cleaner clears his throat, "Sorry, what were you gonna say?"

"Ah, no, my bad. It's just that... My thoughts have been so all over the place recently."

The cleaner walks out of the entryway path in case a customer stops by and stands near a rack of magazines, facing the checkout counter. He watches with muted excitement as the Cross-Eye looks down and fiddles with his hands, seemingly nervous. _Oh?_

"Go ahead." Shin prompts him to continue.

“Just, about what you said the other night…” Dokuga meets his gaze, “Does that mean you took me to that restaurant thinking of it as a date?”

Shin blushes in embarrassment, not used to dealing with this type of situation. He glances around the small shop, not wanting anyone to overhear them. When he decides the coast is clear, he places his sweaty hands in his pockets and answers, "I... don't really like labels. I just needed a chance to explain myself, and restaurants are generally good places to talk, is all."

Dokuga continues looking directly at him, "Well, what if _I_ like them?"

"What- labels?"

"Yeah."

Shin pauses, his brain analyzing what that could possibly mean.

"Then I'd say... let's call last week business," he pushes his glasses up his nose to try and hide the blush he knows is on his cheeks. He can’t stop himself from looking away from the Cross-Eye as he says, "If you want to see what I'd consider a real date, then that's up to you."

Dokuga smiles up at him.

“I think I’d like that, yeah.”

~~~~~

Drudging his feet as he walks around the grounds of the castle, Shin assumes he must have a deadly black aura surrounding him at the moment, considering all the family members that scramble out of the way when they see him stomping by.

_A “real” date. What does that even mean... Seriously!_

The cleaner broods about his bold choice of words, as well as his heart’s decision to develop feelings for an ex-enemy. He seriously knew jack-shit about romance, never having had interest in another person in such a way before, and so he wishes he could ask someone for advice about what he should do.

Besides being at a loss as to what a “real date” should look like, he also knows he needs to garner Dokuga's trust more considering their rocky past, so he really doesn't want to fuck anything up.

Bumping into someone brings him out of his dazed state, and he quickly flips the other guy off as he’s told to watch where he’s going. Looking around, he realizes he’s made it into town and is currently stopped in front of a grocery store. However, “town” is not really a good word for it he thinks, as it’s really just a long street full of En-owned shops and clubs. More like, a store front for the castle, almost. Before the massacre, this place was also used to house a lot of low ranking family workers, but considering there aren’t as many on staff anymore, most live on castle-grounds now.

A gaggle of teenage girls outside of the storefront are giggling and chatting amongst themselves, blocking the entry way. As he makes his presence known so that they nervously move and let him into the store, he sees that they had been fawning over a magazine that's cover is decorated in hearts and celebrity faces. _Huh..._

Quickly he puts two and two together and walks casually over to the magazine rack inside the store. Although, despite his interest in this idea just 20 seconds before, he feels his determination fade as soon as he sees the rows of cutesy pink covers. He'd rather die than be caught browsing through one of those...

A couple of the magazines below them are En related, however, and this gives him another idea.

He picks up one of the magazines with the more modest photograph of his boss on the front and inspects it’s contents closely. A ton of interviews all surrounding En and a handful of devils, recipes, facts about mushrooms, and even fashion tips line each page. He finds nothing about romance or those horoscope things Chota tends to talk about, and smirks to himself.

He puts the magazine back on the rack and casually walks up to the cashier. He asks to use their phone, and quickly dials the number of the family journalist.

“Hell-o?”

“Hey there, this is the cleaner, Shin. Listen, I know this is sudden, but I’m curious as to why we aren’t including any romance in our magazines.”

“P-pardon, sir?”

“You heard me. A group of girls just bought out an entire rack of the newest celebrity magazine simply because it had interviews with some singer about what he'd do on a first date. Meanwhile, the latest copy of Fungi Digest is sitting here gathering dust. Do we seriously want our brand to be second best?”

“N-no of- of course not, sir! I’m writing this all down, don’t worry- um, first date did you say it was?”

Shin can't help but smile at how smoothly his plan is unfolding, “Yeah, first date. I think it’d help boost our popularity if you asked other family members too.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds good! Thank you for this, Shin-san! We’ll get started on this article right away.”

“Good job, that’s what I like to hear. Oh- and uh. Don’t tell anyone it was my idea. This is just between us, alright?”

The reporter nervously laughs, “Yes sir, I understand! Alright, thank you again! We will keep you updated.”

“Perfect. Have a good one.”

“You too, sir!”

The cleaner mentally pats himself on the back for a job well done. He looks at the clerk who let him use the store’s phone and brings a finger up to his lips. She giggles a bit and nods shyly, and he walks out of the store feeling good.

~~~~~

The next day the journalists find him during his morning work out in the gym and pull him aside to ask him some questions.

They present him with a small stack of notebook paper all neatly written out and ask him if this is what he was talking about.

_"If you've ever wondered how to capture the hearts of the En Family in a non-violent way, then this article is for you!"_

Shin rolls his eyes and skips through the fluff, getting straight to the point.

**En**: _"Show her around my castle, of course."_  
**Noi**: _"A biiiig dinner, a 9 course meal, even! Gotta make sure they can keep up, ya' know?"_  
**Chota**: _"A romantic magic carpet ride through the clouds~"_  
**Turkey**: _"Cooking them dinner would be nice, I suppose..."_  
**Fujita**: _"M-maybe going to see a movie? A ball game? Or maybe visiting an amusement park?"_

And apparently, according to one of the journalists, Ebisu had butt in while Fujita was being interviewed and scrawled on the piece of paper crudely with what looks like a crayon: "_SHoPPING!!!!!_"

_Their ideas fuckin' suck…_

Nervously, the two family journalists ask Shin what _he_ would do on a first date, since he should be a part of the article too. He roughly hands them back their papers and sighs heavily, massaging his temples. _That's what i'm trying to figure out, dammit!_

"Can I get back to you on that? Sorry… I’m not really good at this sort of thing, to be honest."

They bow politely and tell him it’s no trouble and that they’ll ask him again in a day or two. He runs a hand through his hair exasperatedly as he watches them walk off down the hall. He grumbles to himself, "_What a pain in the ass..._"

His work-out was cut a bit short, and even though he knows he should get back to it, all his focus and determination has just been extinguished. So instead of finishing the rest of his reps, he walks back to his bedroom to shower and change, annoyed with his failed scheme.

On his way there, he unexpectedly runs into Shou on the staircase going up. When he sees him, the cleaner absentmindedly realizes that the older sorcerer wasn’t interviewed for the magazine article, probably having been forgotten.

After their initial greetings to one another, Shou asks, "You seem troubled, Shin. Is there something the matter?"

Scuffing his sneakers across the concrete of the stair's landing, Shin feels defeated. Shou is probably the family member he would trust with his secret the most, and so in his disappointed and desperate for answers state of mind he goes ahead and asks, "Shou, if you were going to take somebody out on a first date, what would you do?"

The little magician hums, "Well, I think I would try and make it personal, as in do something together that holds a special meaning to me. Going to the movies or out to dinner can be memorable too, I suppose... But I'd rather do something that holds some significance to me so that I can share that part of myself with them. If they don't enjoy it in the end, then I know we must not have been compatible. The faster you show the real you to someone, the quicker you’ll figure out if it’s meant to be.”

Shin blinks. "Wow, that's... actually really insightful."

Shou chuckles, "Thanks. I hope it helps you. Good luck, Shin." He walks away after that, and Shin smiles slightly watching him go, grateful that Shou didn’t ask any unnecessary questions.

Finally making his way to his room, he feels satisfied with the answer he’s been given. Ever since his Dad was killed, he hasn’t really allowed himself to think about Hole in a positive light until very recently. And despite all the shit he’s talked to his friends here in the magic-world, there are a few genuinely fond memories he carries from his time growing up in Hole that he thinks would be nice to share with somebody.

Undressing from his sweaty gym clothes, he takes a shower and the hot water quickly clears his mind. Alone with his thoughts, he comes to a particular memory that he thinks Dokuga would also enjoy. It's cheesy as hell though, so when the journalists get back to him, he'll definitely be telling them a lie.

~~~~~

A gust of wind surges through the two sorcerer's hair, and Dokuga scrunches up his face at the force of it as Shin commands the flying carpet to slow itself down. Despite his lack of experience driving something so big, he’s grateful that the Cross-Eye’s somehow (he doesn't wanna know) have a magic vehicle in their possession.

He would have preferred being able to show off his car, but there was no possible way to get it from one world to the other, to his disappointment. Naturally after that idea fell through, he thought about bringing a broom. And although he liked the idea of Dokuga clinging onto his back as they rode around the night sky, after much mental debate he decided it might offend his magic-less date and therefore was not a good idea.

So of course the cleaner showed up to the Cross-Eye residence, bicycles in tow, when Dokuga (seemingly nervously) mentioned the magic carpet. Shin was prepared for the biking to be a part of their date as well, but ultimately decided the big floating blanket to be much better suited for what he had planned and so, after recharging it with his smoke, off they went.

However, there's a lot of extra time before the event Shin has planned can happen, considering he showed up early since he thought they'd be getting there on foot. The sky is clear and bright, not unusual for the beginning of the fall season, and both of them are grateful that the summer heat no longer has such a solid grip over town. Even so, Shin forwent wearing his usual black suit jacket, preferring to keep cool in just a short sleeved button up.

Even Dokuga's usual hoodie is tied tightly around his waist, flapping lazily in the breeze.

The cleaner half wishes the sun would hurry and set already because he wants to see Dokuga's reaction to everything, but at the same time the other half of him is hellbent on enjoying things as they come and just enjoying the time he gets to spend together with someone he's genuinely interested in hearing more about.

They glide over the center of Hole casually, no doubt freaking out dozens of humans in the process. The thought almost makes the corner of Shin's mouth curl into a smile, until he glances over at the Cross-Eye whose expression is much more forlorn. _Hm?_

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you're afraid of heights…"

Dokuga perks up, clearly having been lost in thought, and answers, "Ah- No, no. Sorry. I was just… reminiscing, I guess."

Shin steals another sideways glance at his passenger, but doesn't press it any further. He gives a shrug and thinks to himself, _that's right… It hasn't even been a year since everything happened. It must be hard on him to fly directly over where the lake used to be._

The cleaner sympathizes in a way, as he's sure his parents zombified corpses have roamed around downtown before as well. The thought certainly uneases him, so he understands at least in that way.

In really no time after that, they quickly hit flat land. No towers or smoke stacks, just houses and farm land for miles and miles. The magic carpet sails along comfortably, and both riders give slight smiles at the beginning budges of orange and yellow dotting along what trees remain in this part of the world.

Shin takes them lower when they stop seeing so many houses and huts, off following a dirt road lined by fences full of wheat and rye.

"I hate to ask this far out, but- Where are we going exactly?"

The cleaner slows down the carpet, but keeps it going down the tire carved path.

"That's a secret, I told you. Just trust me. I used to come out here with my old man when I was young."

Shin realizes Dokuga must be getting nervous being all alone in the middle of no-where with an ex-enemy and so he decides to pick up speed a bit.

At the edge of the farmer's fields, on the horizon clearly now, stands a single tree. It's not the tallest or the oldest tree in the world, but it's isolation makes it stand out considerably. The blonde glances behind him and can see more curiosity than fear now in his passenger's eyes and he feels relieved at the sight of it. It's not his intention to freak Dokuga out- no, quite the opposite.

The tree is at a crossroads between farm lands, rising a bit on a hill of it's own. Surrounded by golden crops on all sides, it's a perfect shady oasis for a worker on a sweltering summer day. Shin hovers near the roots of the tree, hovering over it's gentle sloping hill as he tries to figure out how to land the flying carpet. Dokuga waits a minute before crawling up the front near the cleaner and turning it off himself.

With pink cheeks, Shin coughs out a quick thank you and the Cross-Eye smirks at him in return.

Floating down as gently as a feather, the fabric splays out along the grass perfectly. The cleaner made sure to park where the shade was still lingering, and so the two stand and stretch a bit, shaking out any stiff muscles.

Laying down, Shin lifts a hand above his head. He stares out at the sunlight dappling through the leaves that tickles his skin before checking his watch and seeing that they still have an hour until twilight. He wonders with muted nervousness what they should do now while they wait...

However, before he can surely embarrass himself with a barrage of intrusive questions ("What kind of music do you like? Any hobbies? What's your workout routine?) Dokuga shrugs off the satchel slung around his chest, sits down beside it, and opens it to produce an apple.

He offers it to Shin with his usual emotionless face, before his awkward customer service smile appears, like he's trying to make a sale.

The cleaner chuckles at him and takes the fruit, amused, "You're funny. What else ya got in there?"

The Cross-Eye shuffles around his bag and pulls out… another apple. And then, to Shin's surprise, baggied sandwiches and mason jars full of water.

"Wha- You."

_Trying to plan for everything and I forgot about dinner… I'd feel like a total idiot right now if I wasn't so impressed by his foresight..._

"I wasn't sure what we were doing today -since you wouldn't tell me- so I came prepared for anything."

With incredible speed he unsheathes a knife from his bag and points it in Shin's direction, causing the cleaner to gasp and nearly let his fighting instincts kick in. Dokuga smirks at his surprised expression, before waggling his blade away and slicing the sandwiches into triangles.

A bead of sweat drips down the back of the cleaner's neck as he sits up from his laying position. _So he's comfortable enough to tease, huh…_

"I even brought-"

Shin blinks at the roll of toilet paper in the Cross-Eye's hand.

"-this."

Letting out a sigh, the cleaner shakes his head. "What exactly were you thinking when I said "_a date that's out of the box"_?"

Dokuga shrugs his shoulders and puts his treasure back in his satchel. "I didn't know, like I said. I just prepared for anything. Even now, I don't really know why we're here. The tissue could still come in handy for all I know."

If this was anyone else Shin would have hit them by now.

The cleaner quickly lets it go and concedes, "Alright, okay, I get it. But I still can't tell you. You'll find out soon enough, don't worry."

Holding out a ham and cheese triangle for the cleaner, Dokuga shifts to a more comfortable sitting position (although Shin notices it's still very guarded), "I'll try not to."

Shin takes the food and just as he's about to take a bite realizes he forgot to say, "Thank you, by the way. In truth, I'm grateful you prepared for this. I must've gotten so caught up in making sure things went smoothly that I forgot other important things, like bringing food… Sorry about that."

The Cross-Eye shakes his head slightly, "It's no problem. Just a habit of mine to make sure I have what I need with me if I can. I'm glad it could be useful."

They eat their triangled sandwiches and various fruits in peace (Dokuga brought an orange and a banana as well "_just in case you have a preference_"), enjoying the clean air the country-side provides as well as the dry smell of the stalks of crop in the fields surrounding them.

It reminds Shin of how he discovered such a serene place, and so when he finishes his food he starts to think aloud. "When I was a boy, my dad took me out here to go hunting."

Dokuga looks at him, seemingly interested (or alarmed?) about the story the cleaner has begun telling.

"The tree is good for climbing and hiding in, and the farmers don't mind if you get rid of any vermin eating their crops, so it's a well known place for people who like that sort of thing... Anyway,"

Shin lays down, his back resting on the earth. "I don't really know how he talked me into coming out here or even staking out up in this tree, because as soon as we saw an actual animal wonder out from the pasture I refused to pull the trigger."

The sun shimmers, slipping down further along the sky with each word.

"My dad got mad at me for it, because my blubbering startled the buck that was in the clearing. He grabbed the gun from me and told me to stay still as he lined up the shot, only to freeze up himself as soon as a doe and a fawn stumble out from the tall grass, following their leader. I remember his hands were shaking when he lowered the rifle and switched it to safety."

Shin feels strange telling such an old story, and realizes it's probably because he's never shared it with anyone until now.

"Anyways, the deer all ran off after that, and my dad placed a hand on my shoulder and said he was sorry and that I did the right thing. _"Killin' ain't right."_ He said. Kinda funny to think about now, I guess." He lets out a dry chuckle and glances over at Dokuga who's looking out at the fields, imagining the deer's white tails as they rustle through the wheat and bound away towards freedom.

"After that we sat and watched the sun set an' well- the rest is history. I say this 'cause it's the reason I remembered this place and what we found. It's a part of why we're here."

"Thank you."

"Hm?"

Shin sits back up, facing the Cross-Eye properly.

"For sharing. You're a pretty good story teller."

The cleaner blushes and wonders if he's ever been complimented in that way before. He takes his glasses off and rubs them nervously on his shirt so that he can avoid the Cross-Eye's gaze and replies, "Thanks… I don't usually talk this much, so don't get used to it."

Dokuga offers a small smile, "I get it. I'm not very good with words either."

As he cleans his glasses, Shin wonders what kind of background the man in front of him has- did he even go to school growing up? Life is chaos for a magic-user, and suddenly he realizes he's rather lucky to grow up in a place with at least a bit more structure.

Putting his specs back on, the cleaner looks up to see that the sky is beginning to turn golden and sweet. In the quickly fading light he observes his date more closely, realizing he hadn't really allowed himself to before. His knees are exposed from the shorts he wore today and curled up towards his body, with his arms draped over them. His jacket still remains tied around his waist, allowing the exposure of his arms and (still) surprising lack of dense muscle.

_Magic-users are just built differently than humans, huh... Noi was skinny like that too when she was in training to become a devil._

Besides the observation of his (lack of) muscles, Shin is also surprised by the amount of scars trailing down Dokuga's forearms- finding little divots and puffy white tissue encircling even his hands and fingers.

His skin is marred, much akin to the cleaner's own.

“How did you get your scars?”

Snapping his eyes up to meet that intense honeycomb gaze- Shin wonders if Dokuga just read his mind.

He looks down at his own hands now, the segments of his fingers stitched together in a Frankenstein sort of way.

“Your partner has healing smoke, right? So you must have gotten the wounds before meeting her.”

The blonde man nods, and adjusts his glasses, wondering absently if maybe he got caught staring and that's why he's under the sudden barrage of questions. “You’re right. I got these here, in Hole. However, later on she was the one who healed them up for me."

Dokuga seems intrigued. Despite what he said earlier, Shin goes on to tell the story of how he met Noi as well.

He talks until the sun is wavering and glowing red on the horizon, and the Cross-Eye hears him all the way through.

By the end of his story, wrapping things up with how they became partners, he realizes Dokuga has been observing him in a very similar way- Not accusatory or defensively, but gently.

Scars are the sign of fighting for your right to live, and so far they both have their share of enough to last lifetimes.

In this moment of soft gazing, they seem to come to a mutual understanding. Even without words, their proof of struggle is enough.

They are alike, they both know it. Can feel it.

Dokuga shifts away quickly, turning his eyes elsewhere, and Shin wishes he knew what the Cross-Eye was just thinking.

"Shin, are you seeing this?"

The cleaner looks up, absently thinking with a fluttering heart, _He said my name…_

A twinkle here and there- a glimpse of light in the now dusky colored rye- Glittering in the hundreds all around them dance a sea of starflies.

Shin smiles to himself at the beauty of such a sight. It was just how he remembered as a kid, if not even better.

He glances down at his date, and his jaw drops at what he sees. Dokuga's eyes reflect the lights perfectly in their multitude of fractals- each glowing bug an actual shooting star shimmering across his amber pools as they dart around the inky sky.

They are so uniquely him, and while Shin knows occasionally of magic affecting a person’s appearance, because Dokuga has none it makes his eyes all the more special.

His breath taken expression is genuine as well, not something seen often from the stoic Cross-Eye. Shin feels really good, like he accomplished his goal.

"Hole can be magical too, in its own ways."

Dokuga merely nods at his words, too star struck to speak.

They sit in silence for a while, taking it all in.

From their perch a bit up on the tree's slope, they can see the starfly's lights seemingly stretching on into the distance for miles and miles. Weaving and bobbing lazily in the air as the crickets sing a tune to wish the warm summer nights goodbye.

After a while, Dokuga seems to relax out of his "soaking it all in" position and leans back to lay on the carpet for the first time all evening.

Shin doesn't know if it would be alright for him to lay down beside the Cross-Eye yet or not, and so he remains sitting, cross-leggedly keeping guard over the both of them.

Despite laying down, Dokuga doesn't say a word, and so the cleaner decides to try and pick up their friendly banter.

"If you did have magic, what do you think it would be?"

Dokuga actually laughs at him. Well, at least Shin is pretty sure it was a laugh, it sounded more like an amused scoff really, but he's just going to consider it a laugh instead.

"I've wondered that myself more times than I can count."

Shin turns himself around just a bit so that he can face the man on the ground. "So what's your verdict then?"

The Cross-Eye is quiet for a minute, the sound of his smile and amusement at the question quickly replaced with his usual monotone. "I have compound eyes, like an insect, so I've always imagined it must be something related to my magic."

"Bug magic, huh? That fits."

Shin chuckles at the eyebrow quirk the Cross-Eye gives him in response to his comment. He explains, "I mean that you're a lot tougher than you look. Like an ant."

Dokuga gawks at him, "An… _Ant?_"

The cleaner continues, amused, "Yeah, they're supposedly able to lift things thousands of times their own body weight. An ant is actually really strong, despite being so tiny."

The Cross-Eye doesn't think he'd like having ant magic very much, always preferring to think of it as something softer like a moth, but agrees that it does indeed make sense, choosing to ignore the comment about him being "tiny".

Silence falls between them for a minute, both just enjoying the scenery around them once more, before Dokuga boldly changes subjects. "What is it about me that you're so interested in?"

Judging from his expression, this question catches the cleaner totally off guard. His surprised look slowly dissipates back to his usual neutral (with a bit of added blush) as he searches for an answer.

He takes his time, but not because he's at a loss for what to say, more like there's just too many things to list. Most of them he isn't even supposed to know at this point, so he's forced to answer carefully whether he wants to or not.

"Well, why did you want to go on a date with me?"

Shin's deflection tactic appears to be successful as Dokuga looks around nervously, stuttering as he answers, "Just that I've, uh- so-sorted things out in my head about you a bit more, I guess… You could say… I'm interested in you too. Or maybe, 'curious' is a better word?"

Alright, not bad, he'll take curious. That's what Shin's crush began as, after all.

"So we both feel the same, then. I think that's a good start. I've never really, uh… pursued someone in this way before."

The Cross-Eye seems surprised to hear that. "Not even with your partner?"

The cleaner grimaces, "Hell no! Me and her are just friends, like I said. We're really close, but it's not like that. She's like… My bro."

_Oof. Trying to connect with the youth huh, grandpa? Way to go, old man._

"Am I not… "Bro" material?"

_Ah, he totally just made the same pained face I did while saying that._

"You're strong- one of the strongest I've ever fought- but I wouldn't say you're like a, uh, "bro" at all."

"No?"

Shin blushes as he admits one of his observations about the Cross-Eye, "You don't seem like you actually like violence, so no. You seem, uh… gentler, I guess."

The cleaner thinks back to his partner, since she's partly the topic of discussion at the moment. Noi may have healing magic, but she's the exact opposite of gentle. Perhaps that's why he's never really been interested in her that way? Is "strong but gentle" his type?

Dokuga laughs through his nose as he hoists himself up. He stares down at Shin from his higher place on the hill and gives him that tiny smile again, "That's funny. You really are an interesting guy."

The cleaner feels helpless as his heart thuds in his chest at the sight in front of him. The glimmering lights from the starflies illuminate lean, strong legs, with stronger thighs that he's already had his head squeezed between, _while fighting-! geez, calm down, Shin... _leading up into such a captivating and beautiful face framed with jet black hair that follows wherever the breeze takes it.

_He really is beautiful._

Dokuga removes his hoodie from around his waist and slips it on over his head. He fiddles a bit getting his arms in the sleeves (_Cute..._) before grabbing his satchel and slinging it over his shoulder.

"I… had a really great time tonight, honestly. But, we'd better get back soon. My brother will be pissed if we aren't."

Shin looks to his watch and is surprised to see how late it's gotten. "Yeah- Yeah of course."

They both step off of the magic carpet and then grab hold of it's front side. They count down together before flicking it to life in one big swift wave motion, getting it powered up again.

As they fly away from the fields- a sight to see in and of itself- and head back into the sky to float above town once more, Shin thinks gladly to himself about how well things went and how much closer he feels they've gotten because of it. He realizes their second date probably won't be able to be as unique, but he starts mentally making plans for it regardless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait...!! >.< School really got in my way as well as job things. This fic really is a passion of mine though and I want to see it through! So those of you cheering me on and waiting for new content- a biiiig thank you~!! <3
> 
> Also sorry no illustration this time, but maybe I will add one in later on if I find time! ;3;
> 
> As always, let me know your thoughts n feedback! Love y'all sm <3


	5. Phantom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LOng!?!! This is my first longfic ever in my life ever so I hope.... I'm doin' okay at thIS..... LOL// I really wrestled with this chapter that whole time, honest to god... I hope it's not disjointed because of that aughh 9~9 the rest should be easier to write from here.. hopefully..... (Dokuga's POV is so difficult kshdshfs plz lemme know what you think!!)
> 
> One year anniversery and only 30k words posted so far :'^) Ahahaha... C'est la vie~~ I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for your continued support specially with me being such a sLOW ASS...!! T0T)/

Darkness was never something Dokuga feared, not even as a tiny stone-faced child, slaving away just to have his needs unmet. No, rather, it’s what lurks inside that darkness- unpredictable, wild, sauntering and predatory- that he’s afraid of. 

This darkness is no different, the acrid smell of cigarette smoke acting as a partition between each leathery red booth. The dim yellow lighting above them hazy from the smog built up by countless invisible patrons puffing their lives away.

What little light it provides sets the stage for yet another day spent together with the monster that lives in the dark. 

“Damn, the food here kicks ass. They really know how to make it so that the meat falls right off the bone.”

Dokuga shivers as he watches the man in front of him tear into soft flesh with surprisingly sharp teeth. He certainly wouldn’t want to be bitten by him; as if he needs another thing to worry about when it comes to this guy...

Staring out into the murky blackness of the restaurant and feeling trapped, he shrinks a little in his seat and wonders how things have become this way.

“Fuck, their wine is great too… for Hole anyway. D’you wanna try, Dokuga?”

His face is innocent, holding out his cup to share, smiling gently at someone who months ago he would've been trying to kill. The Cross-Eye can’t figure the guy out. When did the cleaners get so good at acting?

These moments seem to come often, being offered food or drink, unknowing and ignorant. The implications of such a simple question always makes Dokuga’s heart skip a beat. With a single question, he becomes an executioner, holding the rope of the guillotine in his hands. All it would take is a nod of his head, and a life could be extinguished as quickly as a candle's flame. He wonders faintly, _is this how it feels to be a powerful magician, like the man in front of me?_

In an instant, that quiet thought drives him over the edge; without thinking too hard about it, he reaches a hand out to receive what’s being given.

Peering down into his crimson reflection, Dokuga decides without a doubt that he’s tired of this game. He doesn’t want to be treated kindly by an enemy any longer. It’s wrong- nothing makes any sense when they’re together, he hates the way it makes him feel. Envy, rage, hurt, content, satisfied, entertained, afraid, confused, nervous. He’s just… done.

So he thinks, _’Sorry, Tetsujo. I’ll make it up to you somehow...’_ before taking a swig, making sure to backwash a bit when he's done.

The cleaner grins at him, “That’s the first time you’ve ever accepted food from me. It’s good, hey?”

He nods and gives a fake smile. 

_There’s a reason for that, moron._

He watches without feeling as the monster gulps down the rest of the blood colored liquid, coldly wondering what he should do about the body when this is all over.

Sighing contentedly with good food and alcohol in his belly, the beast smiles again as he places his empty glass on the table. Meeting his eyes he says, “You tried to poison me just now, didn't you?" 

Dokuga jumps, "Wha-" 

The monster grabs his wrists, stopping him before he can reach for any of the knives at the table. Sinking his claws into skin, he angrily spits out, "Useless magicians like you are so predictable, it's pathetic." 

Black smoke begins oozing out from the scars around his fingers, and Dokuga panics, unable to get away from such a crushing grip. _Calm down. He ingested your poison, he should lose consciousness very soon. Distract him._

Not one to shun his intuition, he starts to babble, "It's not what you think, I just-"

"_Shut up._” His grip somehow tightens even more, and Dokuga fears at this rate that his bones will shatter, “As if I'm gonna sit here and listen to you make excuses. I can't believe I thought you were different…”

The beast hangs his head, his expression unreadable and his voice pained, “I trusted you, Dokuga…"

His grip weakens momentarily, and it’s just enough for the Cross-Eye to slip a hand out and grab a steak knife, desperately slamming it into the muscles and tendons that still bind his mobility.

The cleaner winces, but his crushing grip only increases.

_Why isn’t the poison taking effect!? Fuck! I just had to be meddling with a berserker like him, didn’t I!?_

"I’ll show you how we deal with backstabbing fuckers like you…"

As if the Grim Reaper himself has just been summoned, thick black smoke envelopes and swallows Dokuga whole, gnawing and thrashing and tearing him apart. The last thing he sees before his vision gives out is that insane smile, crooked teeth sharky and murderous. 

_THUNK_

Crashing awake, Dokuga allows himself to slowly fall the rest of the way out of bed and onto the floor. He clutches the side of his head that collided with the ground and curls up in a ball on the little moth shaped foot rug he needlepointed himself, lamenting such a terrifyingly shitty start to an already dreaded day. 

_Date day…_

It's every Sunday, around lunchtime. He meets with Shin here at the house, and they go and spend the day together. There have been only 4 (or 5, if you count their first "real date") of these so far, but already it has become the thing he looks forward to the very least.

Not because it's all that difficult, especially not now since they're kinda used to each other, just that he'd much rather spend his free time doing literally anything else.

_It's for Tetsujo, it's not that bad… It's for Tetsujo._

That crooked grin flashes in his mind's eye and he shudders.

Lying on the floor and trying to will his growing headache away, he reflects on the nightmare he just had. He sighs. He hasn’t acknowledged until now how much stress the situation has actually been causing him. It truthfully is a rather taxing charade, and not _just_ because it's annoying.

It was really only a matter of time he would have an intense dream like this. After all, It’s been nearly a month and a half since he started “dating” one of the En family cleaners, and he still feels he hasn’t entirely recovered from the shock of it yet. 

A _cleaner,_ for hell's sake. Not to mention it's the one he's most afraid of and has tried to avoid all his life...

He hadn’t expected to be together with the guy for as long as it's been, but he knows now that that was just wishful thinking. He agreed to Tetsujo's plan too quickly, not mapping things out entirely as he probably should have. But, well, as the saying goes- if you make a dog’s bed, you should let it lie. Or… Something like that.

It wasn’t his brother’s fault, though, as Dokuga wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t convinced himself in the first place. 

He reasoned, if En wanted him dead, he would never have come up with a plan as convoluted as this. For one, The cleaners aren’t assassins or undercover agents, they’re meat-headed undertakers who bust down doors with brute force and smash your face in while you’re drinking tea at your dining room table. The Cross-Eye seriously doubts either of them would ever be assigned a spying mission, as En surely would prefer using someone actually equipped for such an assignment.

Plus, it’s not like he’s got anything left to lose (except his life, he guesses, but even then he doesn’t consider it worth much). Afterall, his gang is disbanded, and his pride is pretty much nonexistent at this point. Fake dating an elite magic-user is pretty cushy in comparison to all the humiliating shit he's dealt with in the past. He's sure a ton of people would kill for an opportunity like this. And if Shin is serious, then pretending to be interested in him couldn’t be _t__hat_ bad, just so long as he keeps the free meals coming… Considering that, it’s almost like he’s getting paid to hang out with someone. Or, at least getting fed. Not a bad gig, even if that someone is a mortal enemy.

But Shin _is_ serious (from what he's seen so far), and that's where his biggest problem lies...

The occasional drop-in from the cleaner while he's at work in the convenience store is fine, as he or Hana-san can easily shoo him away. On their dates, however… He's stuck pretending to give a shit with the matched interest that Shin genuinely has for him.

And the guy's not stupid. To a certain degree, Dokuga has to be genuine right back or else he'll pick up that he's faking and his cover would be blown. He learned that in their second official week together. He had tried to be a bit more flirty and touchy to (in his mind) hurry things along, but Shin had seen right through it, the corners of his mouth dragging sharply down into a frown.

_"You don't have to force yourself. We’ll take things slow, okay?" _He had said.

Dokuga scoffs at the memory, something he had wanted to do in that moment, and sits up from lying on his back. He begins his morning stretches and continues his train of thought as he warms up his body for the day ahead.

In the end, The cleaner had seen through him, but he was right anyway. Being his usual stoic self is infinitely better than acting chipper (which he isn't very good at in the first place). Afterall, that's the way he is around everyone, whether he likes them or not.

Shin can easily see that of him, which somewhat impresses the Cross-Eye. He's definitely got a keen eye, a trait not many high ranking magicians possess. Most powerful sorcerers are self absorbed idiots who live their lives sinfully carefree because they think nothing bad could ever happen to them. It's why they all fell so easily, standing on their pedestals with their heads in the clouds, blissfully unaware of the snapping teeth and thrashing claws below. The looks on their faces as their smoke veins are severed and their precious safety net is ripped away…

He feels a small smile creeping up on his face until he remembers Shin's words- _"You don't seem like you like violence. You seem gentler..."_

Dokuga's face falls back into neutrality and he rises to his feet to do standing stretches, wondering if that's true. There's a perverted sense of justice that clouds his mind when he thinks about what all the Cross-Eye organization has done to the Magic World, and deep in his heart he knows he doesn't regret killing a majority of the hundreds (thousands?) of magic users he's put down over his 23 years of life. If he had it his way, Shin would be just another one of those nameless numbers. 

_Why does he think that, anyway? He's pretty observant, but still, that doesn't sound like me at all. I'm pretty terrible..._

In the end, he supposes the cleaner's surveillant nature is one of the reasons why Shin wasn't just another head tossed in the back of a truck. It seems he became the leader of the family for a while after En was killed, too. A forced-into position Dokuga is familiar with himself.

In fact, Dokuga has noticed many similarities between the two of them that are like that, to his discomfort.

In particular, he thinks about when they stared at each other's scars. Intuitively knowing that both of their healed over wounds have been collected from bloodshed and self-inflicted desperation. He supposes they're the reason Shin isn't some bumbling narcissist like the rest of them; You don't look like that unless you've been to hell and back. Magicians born with silver spoons in their mouths have no idea what that feels like, and it's clear to Dokuga that Shin was never the type (despite him assuming he was before being forced to learn otherwise).

At the very least, Dokuga is glad he's stuck with someone as grounded as Shin and not some other magic-using asshole. It could certainly be much worse. 

Suddenly he imagines En trying to court him in a similar fashion that Shin has and pales at the thought. _Ew…_

Besides, one kiss is all it would take… Hopefully. He shudders out a breath as he relaxes from his yoga pose at the idea of his nightmare becoming a reality. As irritating as his curse is, at times like this he finds himself somewhat grateful for the protection it provides.

With the clouds about his dream cleared up and his stretches all done, he looks at his clock, an old fashioned wooden thing he found on one of his dumpster dives. 10:15. _Not bad… I can still make Tetsujo something before the cleaner gets here._

He slips his hoodie on, as the mornings are considerably cooler these days, and walks into the living room before stepping out the back door wearing whatever sandals were laying nearby.

Walking over to the coop attached to the side of the house, Dokuga opens the pen door to let the chickens roam free for the day. The hens softly murmur at him and to each other as they step around him and run off to look for bugs in the sun. Their rooster, Crow, eyes him suspiciously before following behind the girls, giving out a loud morning call, acknowledging the start of a new day.

The Cross-Eye smiles at them, fond of their cute antics. They’re a relatively new addition to his life, an old farmer had died and her son was giving the animals away for free, and so he and Tetsujo excitedly took them in. He wonders how much longer it’ll take for them to warm up to him fully as he looks around the nesting boxes for whatever eggs they produced during the night.

Gathering up 5 in total, he places them gently in his hoodie’s pocket, and snorts a laugh as he humorously imagines what it would be like to tie a hard boiled egg in one of the baggies around his arm “just in case."

Mornings like this are a blessing to him, even with the looming threat of a professional executioner knocking on his door in an hour or two. He has the house to himself, nearly, and is able to relax without much anxiety. Of course, he doesn’t dare risk accidentally poisoning his flock or the garden, but still. Not having to explain why he’s smiling to himself holds a level of freedom that he finds very comforting. 

Being alone by himself is much different than being alone with others, after all.

He goes inside, careful to shut the door quietly, and puts the eggs away in the carton in the freezer. He knows all too well what it’s like to forget about the precious gifts in his pocket. Egg yolk doesn’t stain, but it feels as though the tears he shed over losing a meal just might.

Going back outside, he picks some fresh vegetables from the garden; carrot, peas, and bell pepper. Mushroom and onion are already inside and cut up from the day before. 

Returning to the kitchen, he rolls up his sleeves and puts on an apron and a face mask, preparing everything to be diced and cooked. 

As he’s toiling away, knifework steady and unquestioning, his mind begins to drift back to when he woke up.

It was a dreadful dream, wasn’t it? His most honest fear. Being caught, being helpless. He questions if he would really be able to do that in real life, to just say fuck it and pull the plug. What would happen if he did?

Would Shin react the same? The one in his dream looked so genuinely hurt by his actions-

Dokuga suddenly sees red drip down from the side of his index finger. He sucks in a breath at the familiar sting, and stops in his actions. Dousing the cut in water, he frowns. _How annoying, to make a mistake while thinking about him. Bastard._

He reaches under the sink for the first aid kit and patches himself up while trying to mentally place a curse on the cleaner. With his finger sufficiently treated, he finishes up the rest of his chopping, and quickly moves onto the next stage of cooking. This time, making sure to complete his tasks without any distracting thoughts. 

By the time he’s finished and with a beautiful omelette made, he realizes it’s nearly time for Shin to arrive and he still hasn’t showered. He walks into Tetsujo’s room and leaves the omelette by his nightstand, knowing the swordsman can sleep like a stone, but not on an empty belly. 

He jumps in and out of the shower, trying his best to quickly get ready, not wanting to make the cleaner wait as that might mean inviting him inside. Talk about awkward and uncomfortable...

As he’s drying his hair with a towel, he hears the rooster outside making warning sounds of a threat approaching. He recognizes just what that means and laughs to himself, remembering the first time Shin came to the house while the chickens were out of their pen.

Crow had attacked him mercilessly, nearly breaking off a spur in the process. Dokuga had to grab him and flip him onto his back to get him to stop freaking out. It was very funny to the Cross-Eye, although he did his best to hide his amusement at the time. Even still, the memory of Shin’s horrified face as a chicken attempts to maul him to death makes him want to laugh out loud every time.

He’s grateful for the time buffer his rooster provides him, and throws on some pants and his signature hoodie yet again. He puts the back of his damp hair into a low ponytail and laments that there isn’t really time to tie anything to his sleeves aside from his row of smoke jars, so he foregoes the rest of them. Absolute necessities, however, include a secret knife in his pant leg, a knife in his hoodie’s pocket, a pocket knife in the butt of his jeans, and a bit of cash. 

Once he has all that, he stops at the door and stands for a moment, focusing his breathing and allowing himself to prepare for the day ahead. 

After that, he shakes all his doubt off, and jogs outside, shutting the door behind him and shooing Crow away before he has a chance to attack the cleaner yet again. 

“That damn thing is out for my blood… Do I look like a wolf to you?”

Dokuga is instantly reminded of his dream and thinks, _something like that, yeah…_

“Actually, on second thought- Don’t answer that.”

Bracing himself, Dokuga looks up into cool blue eyes and wonders for a second what he was worried he’d find there instead. Shin, at least during their time in Hole together, has proven himself to be a laidback wolf rather than a predatory one… But, even still, a wolf is a wolf.

He thinks about what that would have made the boss, and decides that he was much more of a bear than a wolf. Though he supposes nowadays he's got more in common with lizards than anything…

He blinks the thought away and points to himself instead, “What does that make me, then?”

Shin ponders this with a blank face for a few seconds before his eyebrows come together decidedly and he says surely, “Cat.”

The Cross-Eye is somewhat impressed, “Hm. I can’t disagree with that… Now, if you were to say sheep or something, you might have had to go on this date alone...”

The cleaner chuckles, and Dokuga stealthily takes one of his hands and begins to walk them along the road and away from his home. 

“Good thing you said something fitting instead then, huh?”

At this, a blush spreads silently across Shin’s cheeks, and the Cross-Eye can't help the genuine smirk that slips through his usual stoic mask at the reaction of the larger man. Dokuga thinks, _He’s so easy to mess with, it’s honestly pathetic._

The older man’s hesitation to touch has been rather… interesting. And, even more honestly, unexpected. One of the highest ranking magicians in all of the Magic World still getting used to being hugged? Dokuga didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he realized this a couple weeks ago. Of course, he did neither, and just zoned out their entire walk back to his house, asking the devils why they were always so hellbent on torturing him.

Dokuga knew at the beginning of this mess that this would be the first romantic relationship Shin has ever been in, but he hadn't assumed that meant the man was a virgin, as appears to be the case. Really, he would have preferred skipping all this fluffy flirty bullshit and getting straight into the cleaner’s bedroom. It was what he originally thought the mission was going to be when he told Tetsujo he’ll "see what happens." Get Shin to take him to the castle, kiss him dead, then stalk around the mansion to find kikurage. It was like so many other infiltration jobs he had done before; it couldn't drag on too long, right?

But, oh, how wrong he was…

He should have known it wouldn't be that easy, Shin isn't stupid enough to let Dokuga into the castle so quickly- and on some level he knew that going into it- but he hadn’t expected the guy to be starting from level 0 in every aspect. The end game was quite a ways away even still, and the Cross-Eye had resigned from trying to cheat or force things to go faster. It is what it is, he tells himself.

As they walk and talk about their weeks along the dusty road to the center of town, Dokuga finishes a thought and then holds his free hand over his mouth and lets out a yawn.

“A bandage? What happened?”

The Cross-Eye wishes he could squint at him, but instead keeps his usual cool. _This is your fault, asshole._

“Just being clumsy while cooking, that’s all.”

A clever idea pops into his head.

“Actually, it happened because I was thinking about you… I got distracted, and my hand slipped.”

Shin blushes at that, and the Cross-Eye pats himself on the back, happy with his twisted truth.

“Is that so…? What were you thinking about, exactly?”

Dokuga shakes his head and puts his bandaged finger up to his lips, “That’s a secret.”

The cleaner fizzles and blushes even more, pushing up his glasses. Dokuga internally scoffs out a laugh.

Having such a high ranking sorcerer wrapped around his finger is rather fun, he realizes. Or, at least the power rush he gets from it is. He imagines Shin with cartoonish dog ears wearing a spiked collar while Dokuga balances a bone on his nose and tells him to wait until he can have it. He smirks at his own amusing thoughts and the cleaner looks down at his face and thinks it’s for him. 

They’ve hardly just entered The Hole, the grimy waterways surrounding the city only just now coming into view, when they suddenly are aware of a faint sound in the distance.

_klang - bum - klang - bum - klang_

They look at each other in companionable confusion, simultaneously pondering if they should be in battle mode or not.

“Sounds like… Drumming.”

“And Bells?”

Dokuga looks up at Shin for a possible human explanation, and the Cleaner scrunches his face in thought.

“What day is today?”

“The 15th.”

“Oh... _Oh!_ Ugh- for Satan’s sake… Today is M’bon. It’s a traditional human holiday where they celebrate their ancestors and thank them and other spirits for the year’s last harvest. They’re having a parade.”

As soon as he says that, a line of dancers wearing autumnal robes appears from behind the industrial complexes rising into the sky. Some carry staffs that chime as they wave them around, and soon the band they're hearing can be seen trailing after them as well. The direction they're headed is right where Shin and Dokuga need to be, and before long more sound and even more people marching and carrying floats can be seen following behind the music makers. 

“Quickly, under the bridge."

Before the Cross-Eye can get a word in, Shin drags Dokuga along and they both skid down the concrete siding of the waterway, making their way to the underside of the overpass. 

The jubilant sound of cheering and the heartbeat-like drum of human feet thuds over head, and Shin lets out a surprisingly shaky sounding sigh. The sound of it puts Dokuga on edge.

"Why are we hiding here? Were they going to attack us?"

Sitting down with one leg stretched out and one curled towards his chest, the cleaner leans back exasperatedly against the sheer sloping concrete wall. He runs his hands through his hair, messing it up even more than it naturally seems to be, "They're harmless, just annoying. They’ll try to get us involved and that’s not exactly what I was looking forward to today."

He extends a patchworked hand out to Dokuga's face and the Cross-Eye forces himself not to flinch. Gently, Shin tucks some stray hairs behind Dokuga's ear and smiles sadly at him. 

"When I was young I used to wear my hair the exact same way you have it today… Funny."

Dokuga's mind tries to imagine a young ponytail wearing Shin and fails, and instead conjures up images of him as he is now without glasses, a fake ponytail clipped to the back of his head, and wearing a rainbow propeller hat. 

Shin laughs like he read the cross-eye's mind and takes his hand back. "It's true! I used to be skinny and small like you are too." 

The subtle pained confusion on Dokuga's face makes the cleaner laugh again, and the Cross-Eye gives up on trying to imagine what Shin must have looked like. Instead, he wonders why Shin is suddenly acting so weird.

"What's wrong?"

His smile falters at the question, and he lets out another sigh. They're both quiet for a moment, and in the silence their ears unwillingly focus on the parade above them. A chorus of wind instruments are belting out an ancient tune as the crowd murmurs and buzzes overhead, swathes of humans cheering and clapping reverberating coldly back onto them in their underground shelter.

"It's nothi-"

"It's not nothing," Dokuga grabs the hand Shin had resting on his outstretched leg, "I can tell it's not nothing."

The cleaner looks at him, his expression reading as, "I'm trying to hold back my emotions and be tough because it's what’s usually expected of me" and Dokuga stares back and wonders for the thousandth time in the span of 2 months, _"how did I get here?"_

He doesn't know what to expect; After all, at times the cleaner is nearly as stoic as himself. The noise of the crowd is slowly but surely moving away from them, and Dokuga waits patiently. After a minute the sound becomes nothing but a hum in the distance, and to his relief, stitched fingers turn and grip his hand as the cleaner lets out yet another sigh.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it after we get the hell away from this shitty ass river."

He stands up, hoisting up Dokuga by the hand after he's steady on his feet. 

"Sounds like a plan."

~~~~~

"Usually I tell this story with pride, but today It just… wouldn't feel right."

They’re situated comfortably in a family restaurant, the kind with big booths and diner style lights hanging above. It reminds Dokuga of his dream way too much, and so he finds himself yet again on edge. _This fucking job is killing me slowly, I just know it…_

He’s certain he’s losing years of his life playing this game, but he also knows he doesn’t have enough energy to go about ending things like in his nightmare. Especially not now that he’s come this far, with a secret weakness on the tip of the cleaner’s tongue. He makes sure to keep his saliva to himself, at least for another restless and annoying day.

“By today, you mean M’bon?”

“Ah, yeah…”

The cleaner’s expression tells Dokuga he’s still debating whether to say what’s on his mind or not. He leans back in the booth all to himself and swipes a hand across his face, rubbing his eyes from up under his glasses. Dokuga drinks his iced cola through a straw, patient as ever.

“I turned 29 last week.” 

Nearly choking on his soda, the Cross-Eye hurridly sits up, “Huh?”

“It’s relevant to the story, don’t worry. I’m not trying to make it a big deal or anything, and really I would prefer not to.”

Dokuga frowns, not because he cares but because he’s deeply bothered by this information. He’s pretty sure the boss was around that age as well, and apparently, had also been raised in The Hole before they met on that rainy night. The idea that those two could have crossed paths as teenagers or children deeply creeps him out for whatever reason. _Like fate, or something.... Gross._

“A-alright… Sorry, I was just surprised.”

He shivers to himself and Shin continues, “Not long after I was born, around the time of M’bon, my mother was murdered for being a magic-user. I didn’t really know her, so I can’t say much, but after my birthday every M’bon my dad would get really quiet. I didn’t learn why we couldn’t participate in the festival until I was a teenager, I just figured he didn’t like dancing around in those stupid get-ups.” 

The cleaner lets out a humorless chuckle and shakes his head, “Anyway, thinking about spirits coming back to say hi just freaks me out. I hate the idea of my dad’s corpse getting up and walking around here during the night of the living dead, too. Ew.”

“I… Think I get what you mean.” Dokuga says, trying to understand. He certainly knows how it feels to see the living ghost of a deceased loved one, at least. 

Their waitress brings them their orders, and Shin attempts to properly tell the story of how he got his scars between bites of food. Dokuga listens quietly, absorbing the information he’s being given by a mouth full of food. What Shin says makes sense to him, and the Cross-Eye observes the stitched lines of skin crawling their way up and into that jet black suit. He could tell from the day they first fought that Shin is a creation of hardship, as berserkers often are. He had to become one just to stay alive. Dokuga knows how that feels all too well.

The story stretches on long after Shin has finished scarfing his food down, a habit he says that formed while he was on the run from the militia. Despite the fact that the cleaner is growing increasingly more and more into his own story, and his eyes have lit up with an unhinged excitement, Dokuga still feels something hooking into him as he listens. A relatability that he tries to shake off, but that sticks to him in an annoying way like burrs in wild grass. 

“The scar on your nose, too…?”

“Yep. From one of the guys that killed my dad. With what measly materials I could steal, it was never treated properly, so when I met Noi it had already healed in a fucked up kinda way. It was a pretty deep gash. Not to mention I didn’t visit the hospital until three months later, and of course by that point I was just fucking desperate. It was magic or death, I really didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. One scar or a thousand didn’t make a difference, all I wanted was for those militia assholes to suffer. ”

At that, Dokuga feels his soul sink like a stone in his seat, bewildered a cleaner could be echoing his own emotions and experiences exactly. He stares out of the window next to their table and mentally picks off all the metaphorical stickers clinging to his skin, sinking their poison into him, whispering in a broken chorus, _“he’s just like me”_

_Was. He _was _like me. Just because he knew what it was like to suffer at one time doesn’t mean he’s the same as I am. He’s a fucking elite magic-user, for hell’s sake. He might be able to sympathize, but he certainly wouldn’t give enough of a shit to do anything about it. Everyone in this world suffers, big fucking deal._

“Anyway, yeah- after all that, I sliced up my arms and totally failed,” Shin laughs and it sounds genuine, like his mood has lifted compared to the beginning of this story, “I would have died if it hadn’t’ve been for the doctors. I owe them my life. You know Kasukabe-san and Vaux-san?”

Dokuga nods his head, although he tries to avoid the hospital as much as he can considering Kaiman often hangs around there.

Shin finishes, “The rest is history, I guess. I completely wiped out the militia scumbags and afterwards made my way to the magic world. The end.”

Suddenly Dokuga has an unwarranted image appear in his mind's eye. It's of himself as a child looking up to find Shin in the doorway between worlds instead of Kai, and he blinks it away nearly as quickly as it came. 

“I see… That’s quite the story.”

The cleaner looks very proud of that fact, and Dokuga cringes at him for it. 

“It certainly put some hair on my chest,” He chuckles, “Of course it was terrible, but if you want to be strong, a traumatic event is the way to go, I guess.”

Dokuga could spit. 

“Uh, well hey listen, I know I got kinda wound up just now, but I’m still pretty miffed about this stupid holiday ruining our plans. Would you maybe wanna grab a drink some place?”

“Right now? Isn’t it like 3 in the afternoon?”

“The sooner the better during M’bon, as far as I’m concerned.”

Blinking out of his (hopefully) invisible brooding, he looks up at the blonde. Shin seems jittery, like he’s eager for a fight. That could even be the secret reason he wants to day drink at a bar… (Or maybe he really is just fucked up about his parents, Dokuga doesn’t know.) And despite how tired he feels, he knows he should be a good “boyfriend” and accompany the man. Besides, any chance at getting the bastard drunk and stupid is golden in Dokuga’s eyes. _Fuck it, let's see what happens. Maybe he’ll drunkenly take me to the castle and I can finally get this shit over with._

"Sure, why not."

~~~~~

Standing in front of a looming industrial building with a large sign on the front that says in blood red letters, “The Crimson Cross”, Shin jerks a thumb towards it's metallic ruby doors.

“How’s this place look? It seems like they’re open.”

Uncaring, Dokuga shrugs, “Seems fine.”

It's not unusual for certain stores and bars in The Hole to be open late into the night, and so lots of security is needed to keep the trouble making nightcrawlers out of their businesses. And although it’s midday, because of M’bon and many humans either partying or drinking the memories of their missed loved ones away, security is just as heightened. Shin knocks on the door and a slit in the heavy iron reveals a pair of pupils. 

"Whaddaya want!?" 

Shin rolls his eyes, "Drinks, obviously. Let us in."

He slips the doorman some cash (Dokuga didn't see how much), and the eyes disappear back into metal before the heavy door is unlocked and opened for the both of them. 

A rather imposing looking man in a ski mask lets them into the building before closing the door behind him. The interior is, as expected, bathed in a sultry red color, with slow jazz playing cooly overhead. 

The Cross-Eye looks around, surprised by the unexpectedly classy look of the place. The front of the store really convinced Dokuga they were gonna walk into some sleazy strip joint or something.

Not watching where he's going, Dokuga bumps into the back of a large muscular man who he assumes is Shin, "Sorry", he mutters.

The man towering above him turns around and looks down at him and Dokuga's heart sinks, joining his soul in the pits of despair.

His usually schooled face quickly becomes too expressive and he knows it, trying and failing to get a handle on the fear and heartache taking him over. _Could this day get any worse?_

Kaiman, (_Satan, that name sucks...)_ stares back at him with wide eyes, hardly visible behind his gas mask. 

"It's alright," he says, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and yet somehow it booms in Dokuga's ears, echoing as if it were screamed into an empty canyon. 

From his seat at the bar Shin finally realizes his date has gone missing, and as soon as he turns around and sees the lizard bastard he knows he fucked up yet again today.

Hopping off his stool and power walking through the rows of seats, the security guards get a bit antsy, standing up straight and keeping their eyes glued to Shin's aggressive behavior. He reaches both Ex-Cross-Eyes and butts in on their awkward staring contest, pulling Dokuga to himself and towards the bar, glaring daggers at the lizardman the entire time.

“What rotten luck... Today is fucking cursed! Bartender!”

Shin irritatedly bangs a hand on the counter as Dokuga curls in on himself next to him and dies inside. The cleaner buys a bottle of sake and quickly pours some out for the both of them, “To dead people.”

The Cross-Eye unenthusiastically clinks his glass with Shin’s and they both down their drinks in one go. Shin attempts to make light hearted banter with his date, but Dokuga doesn’t seem to register much of what he’s saying. He’s way too preoccupied in glancing over his shoulder to see if Kaiman is still there or not. Which he is, casually and yet totally obviously trying to spy on them now, much to Shin’s annoyance.

He tries his hardest to ignore the lizardman’s eyes trying to burn a hole in the back of his head from across the room, but once he’s had his 5th cup of sake he can’t take it anymore. Besides, his date with Dokuga was already ruined, might as well finish the job himself.

The cleaner stands up from his barstool, and the Cross-Eye looks at him in confusion. He holds his hand out for Dokuga to take it, and he does. Not letting go of it, he leads the smaller man to sit at a back table in the corner of the empty store. Dokuga looks lost until Shin walks away to where Kaiman is seated on the other side of the room. Dragging him back to the table by the scruff of his coat, and despite much protest and hissing, gets the lizardman to sit across from the Cross-Eye.

He nervously does as he’s told, both equally confused and offended by the cleaner’s actions.

“Now... Talk. Figure this weird shit out. Stop bein’ fuckin’ pussies about whatever the hell it is that’s botherin’ the both'a you and deal with it like adults.”

Dokuga stiffens at Shin’s frustrated tone. He’s much too tired for a fight, and doesn’t want to fuck up anything this far into his mission, and so with his nerves tied in knots he resigns to his fate and does as he’s told, looking down with his eyes angrily fixed on the salt and pepper shakers at their table.

The man opposite him, however, isn’t willing to give up getting out of an awkward talk so easily.

“You’re not the boss’a me, just what do you think you’re doi-”

A vein in Shin’s forehead pulsates and he sneers as he reaches a hand out in front of the reptile’s face, stopping him from getting up any further, “I’ve cut your head off before, _lizard,_ don’t think I won’t do it again.”

Kaiman gulps and sits back down, “Yes sir…” he mutters dejectedly, his eyes also angrily drifting towards the salt and pepper shakers.

The cleaner sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets, “Good. I’ll be at the bar whenever y’all’re done.”

Dokuga scrunches his nose at Shin’s sudden drunk and angry accent and sighs to himself. Today his hatred for the cleaner feels more like a flame rather than the ember it had been lately. The napkin dispenser lined up against the wall of their booth was in danger of catching fire at any moment if it wasn’t for Kaiman finally clearing his throat and piping up.

“What is even happening right now? Are you with that guy?" 

The Cross-Eye looks over at Shin, who's angrily drinking from a glass and watching sports on the CRT TV mounted above the bar. He shrugs, still not looking directly at the man in front of him.

He says quietly, "We hang out I guess, yeah." 

Unsurprisingly, he can’t bring himself to say they’re “dating." At least, not to _him _of all people. 

Kaiman fiddles awkwardly with an empty mug Dokuga hadn’t even noticed him carrying before flagging down a waitress for a refill.

"I came here because I was given a free drink ticket by a friend. It’s not usually the type of place I hang around, but a free drink is a free drink and today I certainly could use one and- uh- a-anyway… I guess it doesn't matter why either of us are here, just the fact that we are, huh?"

Dokuga nods, dizzy and lightheaded without having had much to drink yet. "Yeah…"

"The cleaner's right though, we do need to… Uh... Talk. It's, like, way overdue. Actually, now that i’m sittin’ here, I'm kinda glad he stopped me from leavin’."

The Cross-Eye blinks, his ears focused on every word, not accustomed to that voice saying so much.

"And by that, I mean, uh… Dokuga… I know you're aware that I… remember."

The Waitress finally comes back with Kaiman’s mug, freshly filled with golden liquid and the lizardman tells her thanks before popping open the lid of his gas-mask and taking a swig.

The Cross-Eye looks up from staring down at those strong gloved hands, his illusions shattered when the pupils looking back at him are slanted and the teeth talking at him are way too sharp.

"I guess my free drink trip turned out to be not so free after all… typical."

Dokuga swallows and finally blurts out, "You gave me that vial of healing smoke. Nobody else would've done that for me but you."

His heart lurches at the memory. Confusion, heart-ache, and guilt sinking to his core like a cinder block in a body of water at finally having spoken his most secretive thoughts aloud.

Kaiman looks over his shoulder at the bar, focussing on the cleaner who’s bathed in a wicked red light that normally would make the man look haunting, but now seems to soften his features and make him appear almost kind.

"But that's the thing… Who do you think I am, exactly?"

Wavering, Dokuga knows in his heart his words aren't true, but he says them anyway, holding onto hope like the fool he's always been, "You’re Kai."

Looking down, the lizard-man eyes are shadowed. He reaches up to the back of his head, and removes the straps on his mask. He takes his shield away, revealing his true face.

"I’m Kaiman, Dokuga. If it helps you, I'm more like Aikawa. I have a lot of Kai's memories, because at the end of the day, he's a part of who I am, but… he’s not _me_. Does that make sense?"

Floaty and weightless, the Cross-Eye shakes his head.

“Then, why?”

Kaiman sighs, heavy and full of emotion, “It’s… really complicated, but to try and simplify… Just know some part of me still cares about you. That's why I gave you the smoke. I know the shit you've been through over the years and what all Kai has made you do for him, and, well… You deserve to be happy, Dokuga. That's all I want for you."

The voice is too strange, not raspy or dark enough to be the man he once loved. These words are not his, and never will be.

"Kai is dead. He's gone."

Dokuga stares down at his lap, hair shrouding his face.

"...I see."

Kaiman swallows, knowing this must be hard for the strange phantom sitting in front of him to accept. Afterall, their history with each other does span nearly half of the young man’s life. He and Kai grew up together, with Dokuga devoting his entire being to the man he built up in his mind. 

He isn’t aware of what part it is that cares about all that, and really he doubts he’ll ever know, but he knows _his_ feelings are real, and that’s good enough for him.

“I’m sorry, Dokuga.”

Gripping the hem of his sleeves tight enough he could tear them, the Cross-Eye shakes his head once again.

“It’s better this way. For everyone. It was only a matter of time before he’d turn on me too. Maybe in the end he already did, I don’t know…”

Kaiman grunts, “I wish I had an answer for ya’ on that, really I do. But I don’t recall anything of Kai’s or Aikawa’s from the past year. It’s really all a blank for me…”

(Suddenly the lizardman is acutely aware that the heart-masked cleaner sitting a ways behind him is the catalyst for all of this shit, in the end… He shudders to himself at the thought.)

Dokuga sighs, “That’s alright. I just- Well… Tetsujo has been telling me that the boss killed our other friends but… Ever since you gave me that healing smoke, I wasn’t able to accept that, somehow. I know he’s killed other Cross-Eyes before, but… I guess I just always thought… He’d never do that to me. So when I got that healing smoke, I was sure of that…. And…”

_I couldn’t let go of him, even despite all the terrible things Tetsujo told me he had done…_

His palms ache at the strength of his fingers clenching tight.

_I’m such a piece of shit._

Suddenly he feels a warm weight on the top of his head shifting back and forth, mussing up his hair.

“It’s okay, Dokuga. It’s not your fault for thinking that way.”

The hand returns back to the table, “I should have been more straightforward instead of distant like I have been. I guess I’ve been sort of afraid of you, because, well…”

The Cross-Eye nearly laughs, “I’m intense, I know. Sorry.”

'_At least he’s aware…'_ Thinks Kaiman.

“But even that’s not your fault. Kai was a master manipulator. My actions were shady enough, I can see how you’d interpret it as something he would do… I’m sorry about that.”

Looking up, those amber eyes glisten with the threat of tears, but never actually spill over, “It’s okay. Kai was never very good at communicating. Maybe you get that from him too.”

If Kaiman had eyebrows to lift, they’d be sky high by now. Did Dokuga just roast him all of a sudden? He kinda deserved it after the trouble he’s caused, but damn.

Still, he feels relieved to see the Cross-Eye playfully teasing in the dead-pan way he fuzzily remembers. 

Smirking, Kaiman agrees, and downs the rest of his beer. He feels better, like he just found and killed the fly that’s been buzzing in his ear and pestering him for ages. He isn’t sure how the other is feeling, as he’s very aware of Dokuga’s expert ability at masking his true feelings, but despite that, he knows he’s said all there is to say.

He gets up from his seat and puts some money on the table. Putting his mask back on, he looks down at the unreadable expression on the Cross-Eyes face. 

“Think hard about what I said, okay? I only want you to be happy and safe, and that’s the truth. Not from Kai, or even Aikawa, but from Kaiman. I’ll see ya’ around.”

Dokuga nods up at him, his eyes glinting in the light, and Kaiman smiles sadly before walking away.

He passes the bar on his way out and hands Shin some money, “Let me buy him a drink one last time. And… Thanks, El Corazón. For everything." 

The lizardman leaves the restaurant after this, and the cleaner drunkenly heats up in confusion. _"El Corazón?"_ _The fuck is that about? Wait- Did sitting those two down like a couple of toddlers actually work? _

Shin orders some rum and when it gets back to him, he makes his way over to where his date is now sitting alone.

He sits himself down where Kaiman was just a moment ago, and grimaces at the still warm seat. He slides the drink across the table slowly, making sure he’s showy enough that Dokuga notices his presence if he hasn’t already.

"It's his last gift to you, he said. Drink up."

Dokuga bites his lip, not wanting his enemy to see him in such a vulnerable state. He grimaces and gulps down whatever it is he’s been given, welcoming the distracting burn it sends down his throat. 

He wipes his face quickly and stands up, "It's time for me to go home, Tetsujo will be worried."

Shin eyes him, seeing through the excuse, but stands up beside him all the same. 

"I'll walk you."

They don't hold hands on the way, which Dokuga is grateful for, and when they get to his home, and say their goodbyes, Dokuga is relieved to see that Tetsujo is still out working.

When he finally lays his head down, safely curled up in the comfort of his futon, he cries.


	6. Chapter 5.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! I havn't been able to write much atm cuz im rly busy but---!!! I wanted to thank y'all so much for 1000+ hits and 100+ kudos on this fic like WOAHHHHH.... wTF. I remember posting like. The 3rd english fic in the entire dorohedoro tag LMAO, and i think this fic has even surpassed that old thing!? Thats so nuts to me. Srsly. 
> 
> Thank you for your interest and for giving Shin/Dokuga a chance!!!!! I rly love them n I hope you do too. And if youre still on the fence then I hope it makes more sense to you later on in the story, lol!! In the mean time.... Here's a collection of random things ive drawn of them to celebrate!! Figured I should post here for folks who dont use tumblr haha ^_^ sorry if you've seen these already sjdjfjrjrj
> 
> If you draw fanart of them too plz send it to me, wahhh!!!! (Im dying for content, lololol) my handle everywhere is HalcyonHighways :'^] 
> 
> Thank you sm again for your support, it means so much to me aughhh, forreal you dont even know ♡♡♡ 
> 
> Happy holidays and a cozy new year to you all!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want nice quality for the pics i suggest opening them up in a new tab :'^] Ao3 isnt the best but i'm glad it hosts pics at all! Hahaha ^_^


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